“Absolutely. I will put in an email to them tonight.”
“Perfect. Once that’s complete, we can talk about your first day and get you into our schedule. I’ll talk to you soon, Melissa.”
“Thanks, Stephanie. I look forward to talking soon.”
I hang up the phone and realize my hands are trembling. I look up and out the window of my small New York City apartment at all of the buildings surrounding me. I still cannot believe this is my life. It’s nothing like what I pictured for myself.
It was only two years ago that I thought my life was over. That I would never find meaning again. The night I lost him, it tore my heart open so wide that I wasn’t sure it was possible to put it back together.
Bryce was my best friend. He was my everything. We had met in college and were inseparable from our first night. The choice to marry him young at twenty-two, right out of college, was the easiest decision I had ever made.
I was ready for my happily ever after. A peaceful life on the outskirts of the city. Small home with a nice backyard for our kids to run around in. We talked about it on our honeymoon. That we might as well start trying immediately.
But that night, something happened. Instead of making love and trying to grow our family, we left the hotel bar while he rubbed his neck in extreme pain. Then he had night sweats that evening. He was wiped out the rest of the trip, barely able to do any of the excursions we had planned.
I noticed it when he started touching his throat that night—the small lump. The diagnosis happened quickly after we got back. Hodgkin lymphoma.
What was supposed to be a magical time as newlyweds building a life together turned into doctor appointments, chemo, nights of me crying myself to sleep, wondering if my worst nightmare was going to become a reality.
I shake my head and stand up, forcing the memory back where it belongs. This is agoodthing. Going back to the oncology department that fought relentlessly for Bryce’s life feels like a step forward. This time, I’ll be on the other side—helping people through the most difficult battle they’ll ever face.
There’s still a small part of me that wonders if this is stupid. Returning to a place that holds so much history isn’t easy. But I’m not taking this job because I’m broken. I’m taking it because I survived—and because I’m ready.
I pick up the phone and call my best friend, Kayla. We met at the University of Cincinnati in college and have been best friends ever since. I don’t know what I would do without her.
When we knew Bryce only had days left, she flew out to the city to be by my side and stayed for weeks, telling her job tokiss her asswhen they said she needed to come back or risk being fired. She said those words out loud. I remember because it was the first time I laughed since losing Bryce. I couldn’t believe she’d said it. She hung up and couldn’t understand why I was laughing so hard that I started crying.
I don’t know how long we laughed together like that, but it gave me hope. Now she’s a writer and living with me herein the city. It’s been everything I needed to get through the last couple of years.
Hope that there could be moments in this cruel life that brought happiness.
“I’ve been gone for three days. Do you miss me already?” her loud, familiar voice bellows through the phone.
“I missed you on day one, and you know it.”
She giggles.
“But that’s not why I’m calling.”
“Oh no. What happened? Another hard day at work?” her edgy tone softens.
She’s used to me coming home, crying to her about losing another patient. It was harder in the beginning. I took each loss like a punch to the gut. I’m not saying it’s easy, but you do become accustomed to it. Death is a part of life in my world now. It doesn’t stop hurting, but it doesn’t stop me either.
“I got a call back from Stephanie, the nursing manager I interviewed with last week.”
She gasps. “Bitch, why didn’t you lead with that? Oh my God! What did she say?”
I purse my lips, trying not to smile so big, but it’s impossible not to. “She offered me the job.”
“Ahhh.” Her scream hits my ear so loudly that I have to pull the phone a couple of inches away. “That’s so amazing. I knew it! I knew you were going to get it. I felt it in my bones.”
I chuckle. “You never once told me you knew I was going to get it.”
“Well, I didn’t want to jinx it, silly, but I knew! Either way, I’m so proud of you. Seriously, Mel, you busted your ass to get here. And you did it in two years. That’s impressive. You should be proud of yourself.”
I blink away the tears. “I am proud of myself. I know I’m on the right path. There’s this feeling I get. Something telling me that this was always my destiny.”
Silence settles between us for a moment, leaving me to wonder if we got disconnected.