She trailed off as she started sketching. I watched her with rapt attention even as a war raged within me.
Was I really being taken as a fool for a second time? If I had a lick of sense, I would march out the door and never talk to her again.
But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Not because she had some irrevocable hold over me, but because walking out of the door meant I would lose the only person who had believed me when I thought someone else was hunting down my siblings. Also, the only person who could detect the murderer with just a glance.
Unless she’s lying about that too.
Ugh. I wasn’t going to be able to get past that, was I? And why should I? In truth, I barely knew the woman, and any pull I felt toward her was just the result of her con.
Is it just that?
I didn’t know. Just a week earlier, I’d been a middle son with a middling name, and I’d thought my life was set. Now, I had no alpha, his heir was gone, and we were still notifying all the members of our pack while also trying to figure out who had killed him and broken into our manor without so much as tipping a single magical alarm off.
It was too much. How could one single man be expected to make a reasonable decision in this sort of situation? I felt like I was going to be devoured by the turmoil going on inside of me, like the sheer amount of feelings and thoughts could cause me to explode.
Peace. Serenity. Control!
Breathe in. Breathe out. You can only control what you can control.
Peace. Serenity. Control.
My inner mantras weren’t doing much. I felt my gums start to itch and my hands creak. How had I gone from not having shifted into my wolf form in months to nearly losing control and bursting into it twice in just a week?
Two of my family members being murdered and someone trying to finish the rest,my mind supplied bitterly.
But I couldn’t think that way. I needed to… needed to…
“Hey, it’s okay.”
I blinked, realizing I’d completely let my concentration slip, and looked down at the table to see that Cherry had stopped drawing. She put her hand on mine.
It was so alien to me how easily touch came to Cherry. She never appeared to worry about doing it wrong or being overly familiar. It was as natural to her as breathing.
“It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling, and it doesn’t have to make sense. You don’t have to justify it, explain it, or anything. It’s okay to justbein it, and eventually, it will pass.”
It was a bit strange to hear therapy speak from a woman whose default was flippant and snarky, yet the words were a comfort. It was terrifying being caught up in an emotional storm, but I was sitting in a house, safe and sound, free to process every feeling one by one.
I… I can do that.
Despite a cruel voice in the back of my head whispering that I was weak, that I wasn’t masculine, I took a deep breath and rode out the storm.
It wasn’t the easiest thing to do, but after the last week of my life, it wasn’t the hardest either. Surprisingly, the gentle scratching of Cherry’s pencils over her sketchpad centered me as I sought my peace.
Don’t forget the serenity and control,the bitter part of my mind taunted.
The moment stretched out for maybe ten minutes, maybe twenty; I couldn’t really say. All I knew was that, by the time she cleared her throat, I didn’t feel like I was being torn in two directions between my inner wolf and my grieving human form.
“I’m done, if you wanna see,” Cherry said, her voice practically a whisper. “I ended up drawing two.”
“Two?” I asked, opening my eyes to see the not-a-psychic looking almost bashful.
“Yeah, what I see when you think about your mom or protecting your siblings, and one right now. It’s… I know it’s silly, but I just wanted you to see.”
I nodded, because I understood. I couldn’t imagine living in a world where my entire reality was colored by other people’s emotions and having absolutely no one to share that with.
“Okay, here goes nothing.”