"I’m not like other omegas, Gabriel. I can’t give an alpha… what he needs. I don’t have heats, and alphas need to go into rut periodically to function properly. An omega’s pheromones affect an alpha’s system, and vice versa. And mine are too weak. I… can’t provide that effect."
"That doesn’t mean you don’t have other things, Blue. Maybe even more than other omegas," I start, but Blue pulls his hand out of my grip, which is not a good sign.
"You say that now, because you like me. But biology is not irrelevant, Gabriel. Time will pass, and you’ll understand how important it is. Alphas still grow at your age. They mature. You don’t realize how much certain things start to matter over time."
"Don’t make me into a mindless alpha, driven only by his animal side, Blue," I protest. "I’m very aware of what I feel. I’mnot put off by… what you said… In fact, it makes me want you more. To be with you on whatever journey you're on right now…"
"That’s your youth speaking. And youth always hopes. Then life disappoints. It wakes you up from illusions."
I let out a quiet breath. "And you’re speaking from bitterness, Blue."
"That’s realism, Gabriel…"
"That’s pessimism!"
He snorts. "You’re so young. There’s no chance for us. We just… don’t make sense, can’t you see that?"
"That’s not true!" I choke out, realizing what it is, a rejection… he just wanted to do it in a ‘nice’ way, to explain everything honestly so it sounds logical and reasonable.
But I don’t buy it. I’m not going to give up. I won’t let it slip away from me… So I reach for his hand again.
"Please, don’t push me away, Blue. Give me a chance, one chance! Give us a chance. I believe… that we can be together, that we make sense despite everything. That we can be happy, I absolutely believe that!"
Silence.
My hand shakes around his clenched hand, my emotions are boiling, and I squeeze my eyes shut, even though I don’t want to, I can feel the moisture gathering under my eyelids.
"I know, I’m a nobody compared to you. You are this genius and I’m just a student and a criminal… such an immensemésalliance, but—"
"That’s not it! It’s not about who you are. But I’m twice your age, and I can’t give you what other omegas can, can’t you see?"
"I don’t care about what they can give me, I care about you—"
"Now!"
"Stop!" I pant as heavily as if this were a real fight in the underground cages. And maybe it is, a fight against years of his denial, his walls built high, his resignation toward intimacy.
"How could I ever want anyone else after you? You are everything. My dream. Perfect, smart, beautiful. Give me a chance, Blue. I beg you. At least a test trial. Like your company does with drugs. Try us and then decide…"
Silence, deep silence.
No reaction, and I can sense fear gripping me as I hear his heart beating fast, that’s his only response.
"I’m falling for you, Blue, can’t you see? I’m begging you, don’t… push me away. Please, Blue…"
Tears run down my face because despair floods me, I’m agonizing over the idea that this is his final decision, the one I was scared to hear, and there’s nothing I can do to convince him otherwise.
Did he think everything through and the outcome is not in my favor?
Case closed?
Then Blue slowly turns from his left side to his right, and now we’re face to face.
My cheeks are wet with tears, and his eyes move over it slowly, a little uncertain, like he doesn’t know how to react.
"Sorry, I don’t want to be such a crybaby parody of an alpha, but… I care about you. So much, so fucking much."
Blue closes his eyes and speaks quietly.