I pull Jenny into me, my arms around her waist as we sway together to the first song. We are all singing along and I don’t know how I could have lived without this feeling. This excitement, the beer in my hand and the joint being passed between us… without my girl in my arms, safe from the crowd as we sway body to body. I haven’t held a girl like this at a show since I was seventeen.
Fucking Jenny Pope just brought me back home.
Jenny
The crowd is alive and we are all singing and swaying to the music. Cal has me wrapped up in his arms and he is singing and laughing and yelling with the crowd. He is a little stoned for sure, and a little drunk but I love seeing his smile and how free he is in the moment. This is who I fell for as a teen, then again as a fangirl and even now, ten times harder and completely madly in love with as a woman.
I am trying so hard not to read into it because our relationship is tattered. We have sex and need and passion, but we don’t have that thing that couples build on. But, oh it feels like that right now. The last few weeks I have felt that shift in our relationship and I want so bad to believe that he wants more, that he wants me. That he has let Tayla go and he sees me now, without her destroying his heart. That I could mend it if he would just let me.
I want to lean back into him and let him hold me closer or nuzzle my neck. The way he is tonight is so different from any time before. Time didn’t exist before like it is right now and I can’t help but test this new water we are in. I fall back into him, just hard enough he knows it is intentional, knows I want him to touch me.
His arms get tighter around me, his hips closer. One hands on my hip, but the other is splayed over my waist and his thumb is making circles over my shirt. I came into him with purpose and he is touching me back deliberately. I pull my hair from my ponytail and scoop it to the side, exposing my neck in hopes that-
I feel his beard brush up and down my neck as he sings along to a bluesy song about falling in love. In a moment of fuck it, I turn my head slightly and he wastes no time stealing my lips and kissing me. His tongues dances with mine and I want to turn into this and blow caution to the wind. Let everyone realize that CD is Cal and that I want him, regardless of the cost or if he will always love her.
His hand is tighter on my hip, pulling me up against him and I arch at the sensation of the moment. The song ends and the kiss does too, but he keeps me in his arms, fingers slowly turning me inside out and that hand on my hip holding me against him. He doesn’t move his head or try to adjust, he stays glued into me. As if the God’s knew I needed more, Denver starts a slow song that draws the crowd to dance with whoever they love. I see Noah and Bright, dancing and touching, Ral and Sully holding their phones up to the sky as they sing along. Asa found a girl to make out with and he was currently mouth fucking her. Otto and Dari seemed to be in the moment too as they danced and kissed.
I turn my head into Cal, seeing him watching me. “Dance with me Jen.” He says and I nod, placing my hand over his on my stomach, I sway my hips along with his and rest my head to his chest. I use my fingers to lift my shirt just enough so I can feel his callused fingers on my skin. I feel them brush my stomach and I tremble.
“What is it baby?” He asks and the timber in his voice makes it impossible to deny that he feels more than want with me. I almost cry hearing him call me that. Ten years I have waited for Cal to call me baby. It is here I let go and fall for him. I can’t fight against this, I can’t. I want him and love him too much.
I lace my fingers through his and direct him over the expanse of my skin, letting him feel me. His tongue traces a path from my ear to my collar bone and I can’t ignore the erection pressing into me from behind. I look around, expecting anyone to be watching us, but we look like every other couple here. I slip my hands behind my back and twist until I can feel his abs and the warmth of his chest. I tuck my thumbs in his waist band and pull him against me.
The hand that was on my hip is now under my shirt and bra and he is rubbing my nipple gently and driving me crazy. “What do you want baby, tell me?” I roll my neck and feel my eyes water with tears at hearing it again, my heart is both soaring and breaking because I have wanted it for so long.
I turn my head into him until I am at his ear. “I… don’t call me that and not mean it Caly, please… it’ll cost too much.”
I feel his breath on my chest as I speak and I am prepared to lose this feeling with my admittance that being his ‘baby’ matters to me. He turns his face and kisses me slow and sweet. “I fucking mean it baby.”
Those words floor me and I want to leave and go home, explore whatever is going on between us. I don’t say that though, it will come in time and honestly, I wasn’t nothing more than to relish this with him.
“Do you believe me Jen?”
I look at him, his eyes are glossy and he looks so relaxed and happy. I know he has a buzz, but he is serious and not wasted so I know he means it.
I cup his chin and pull him to my lips, kissing him soft and sweet. “Yeah Caly, I believe you.”
We watch as the lights come on over the venue and all the crowds make their way to the gates behind us. I lace my fingers in Jens and go to turn when Noah stops us all. “Hey, let’s go say hi tell him good show.”
Everyone hoots and hollers a hell yeah, and Jen looks at me. “Want to?”
Fucking loaded question. I want to go home and see what happens between us, just want her alone, but the professional in me says I should be there. “I’m cool, Denver will understand if we aint there. Unless you want to meet him. I’m cool either way firefly.”
I see her eyes light when I say it and I love the effect it has on her. I kind of always found babe or baby to be generic and Tay loved that generic predictable shit. I am slowly learning that I might have been predictable.
Turns out I like following my instinct and telling logic to go fuck itself.
Everyone else, it seems noticed the term I used also. Fuck em’ though, I only care what she wants.
See? Not predictable.
“We can go. I haven’t met him it could be cool.”
“Then we go.” I say and kiss her knuckles before pulling her to my side. They all watch as I guide her the opposite way of the crowd.
Jenny
“So… how did I do?” He asked as we sit around the fire in the backyard. I hate that he felt like I was judging him.