The summer after high school I dated Jenna, didn’t put up a fight the minute it ended and she left for college. It wasn’t a romance I would look back on and reminisce about, we just went on with life. No sorrow, no destruction.
Tay was a tornado on my life and tried her best to destroy me. I am sure I would suffer injuries from the damage she caused for the rest of my life. How it ended caused major sorrow, major destruction.
Now I am here again only it is Jenny. Our history surpasses Jenna and Tay combined and I am still confused as ever. Only now that confusion is joined by pure true fear, that she will run far away from me.
“I can’t answer that Sull. I have never been here Sam. Not even with Tay. This whole thing is tricky and the shit that plagues my mind over her is the shit I keep letting get in the way.”
“Like what?” He asks and I know he won’t run off and gossip. That isn’t why I am uncomfortable talking about it. “Dude, I am far more understanding of a guy’s fuck ups than you’ll ever know.”
“The only thing fucking my game up is my head.” I look to him and motion to his cigarette. He hands me one and I light it, inhaling the Turkish tobacco like a lifeline. “The past, all the shit in our past twists inside me like a fucking poisonous vine and that vine has thorns that shred me, but I got passed it all. Now my fucking past comes to ruin it all."
He looks at me like I might be crazy. No might, its officially happened and I have lost my shit. So much that I don’t notice Tayla coming out the back. "Cal?" She says and I swear to God, I am the last person she should be around.
Sam must catch the tension and steps back until he is beside Tayla and it sets me off. "Why? Why every time I get pissed does everyone step close to a female like I might hit them or some shit?" I yell and take a purposeful five steps back. "There! Can I fucking talk now?"
"Cal, I know you aren’t hitting anyone, but you never want the shot that anything could escalate."
"You just fucked my life up beyond all belief with that shit you pulled!" I yell and I don’t bother with the fight or the argument anymore.
I need to find my firefly.
Cal
I pull up to Noah and Bright’s looking for Jen. If she went anywhere other than home this is the place. Noah and I are in a better place these days, better than ever before. Jen could influence that though.
She and Noah were the very closest of friends and Noah has a hard time taking anyone’s side other than the girl in tears. That girl being Jen... I was so fucked.
Bright yells from inside knowing it was me when I hit the gate that took me to their driveway.
I walk towards the sounds coming from the kitchen to find Noah, Raleigh and Bright all there.
"Hey honey." Raleigh says and gives me a hug. I half expect him to lick my neck or goose me, the fact he doesn’t is telling.
I reach for a chip and dip it in the bowl of lime salsa Noah is always eating and waste no time. "She here?"
"She was..." He says and shuts his laptop looking at me with a bitter smile on his lips. "Winna tell me why you were making out with Tayla?"
I roll my eyes and link my fingers behind my neck, clearly annoyed. "Please dude, not even with your mouth."
He laughs without humor. "You wanted nothing but her not too long ago."
He leaves is words hanging in the air between us and I know what he implies by them. "I don’t think I have ever felt what I feel now Noah, so stop giving me shit."
He quirks his brow at me. "And what’s that?"
I groan, wishing like fuck he would just once not be the overbearing over protective asshole he is naturally and be on my side. "A mixture of raw fury, nausea and fear. All the fucking time."
"Well, that’s par for the course fuckface." He says and I swear to God, I will kill him.
"Anyone else not currently holding the title of Jenny Pope fan club president want to chime in?" I look to Raleigh and Bright for help.
"Oh honey no. Nope. I am like second chair for that seat. I side with sugar daddy on this one." Raleigh, God love him, is twisted and lives beyond the place the rest of us do and gives zero fucks to what he should or shouldn’t say.
I can hold in my laughter when he says it and I know that Noah, though probably annoyed often by Ral's constant pursue of swinging Noah to the all-boys team, he loves the kid and he is family.
All of us. One big dysfunctional family.
"Because you are on my side I won’t go into how fucking annoying you are right now."