The server came back to the table, pausing the conversation, dropping our order off. After making sure we were good, she walked off. Yosiah lowered his head, prompting me to do the same as he blessed the food.
We were both silent for a short time, eating our food. It gave me a second to gather myself.
“Continue your story,” Yosiah insisted, wiping his mouth.
I sighed and pushed my fork around. “When I told him I didn’t have the money because I couldn’t access my accounts, he wanted me to get it from you.” My voice trailed off at the end.
“From me?” His eyes narrowed and his voice hardened, dropping an octave.
“You heard me right.”
“And what did you tell him?”
I slapped my hand on the table, causing the dishes to rattle. “What do you mean, what did I tell him?” Now I felt myself growing restless and impatient. “What could I tell him except there’sno wayI could get fifty thousand dollars from you to give to him. It doesn’t matter anyway, because even if I could, I wouldn’t give it to him because he doesn’t give a damn about me! No one gives a fuck about me! Are you happy now? You wanted to know why I got drunk yesterday. Well there you have it! My life is hell, my dad thinks I’m a burden, and my husband hates me.” My voice broke and pressure built behind my eyes. I paused, inhaling sharply. “That’s it. That’s all that happened.”
Dropping my eyes, I went back to eating my food. I didn’t mean to let the small rant at the end out but it was like word vomit. Normally I tried to smile and shake things off as if it didn’t bother me, but with everything piling up, it was getting harder to stay positive.
My leg bounced briskly under the table. I reached for my sunglasses that I had taken off when we sat down and put them back on my face.
“So the legal issues your dad is having is the cause of your money issues. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
“For what? It’s not like you care what happens to me.”
As hard as I tried to fight for my marriage, I was starting to get discouraged. Getting pregnant didn’t even seem like a solution anymore. I had never felt so defeated in my life. The hard reality was I’d be stuck handling this all on my own.
“We might have our differences, but I couldn’t call myself a man if I just let you drown. Until those papers are signed, you’re still my wife. You could’ve come and talked to me.”
Lifting my eyes back to him, I snorted and shook my head. “Yosiah, I know you’re not a bad man. But be honest, what in the past five years would have let me know I could come to you? If it wasn’t for me initiating everything, we would have lived our whole marriage not saying a word to each other.”
Pushing my glasses up, I attempted to hide the few tears that threatened to fall from my eyes.
This conversation was starting to wear on me. I had told Yosiah everything and was ready to be done with it. Thankfully Yosiah must have sensed it and allowed the conversation to die.
We went back to eating in silence.
Now that everything was out there, I felt a tad bit better. All that was left to do was shake the funk hovering over me and get back to myself.
“What’s this?” I questioned when Yosiah got back in the car. We continued our brunch in silence. Both of were us lost in our own thoughts. I wasn’t sure how Yosiah felt about the news I’d dropped on him, but I was too drained and embarrassed to continue the conversation.
I thought we would go straight home but instead he stopped by one of the small markets not far from where we ate. While he ran in the market, I checked my phone. The group message between my friends flooded my screen with notifications. I had been keeping my distance from them since learning Aaliyah’s taunting was true. I was sure by now she had shared what wasgoing on in the group and I had no desire to deal with the questions.
I scrolled through the text thread. They wanted to go out tonight to Club Heat where Jrue was having a party. Tiara had connections and was able to get us in.
Angel
Has anyone spoken to Xylina? She hasn’t responded all day.
Tiara
You’re right!
Xylina! You there, girl?
Aaliyah
She’s probably job searching…
Gritting my teeth, I rolled my eyes. Aaliyah wanted an issue with me for whatever reason, but I had bigger things to worry about than her. When the time was right, I’d handle her.