She holds up a bag from the pharmacy. “Pregnancy test.”
I gape at her. “You’re pregnant?”
She shrugs. “Maybe. We’ve been trying since the wedding. Since my doctor said I might have trouble conceiving we didn’t want to wait. So far nothing has happened, but I think … I think maybe this time I am, and I thought as much as I love Noah, it would be special to learn first with you guys and then find a cute way to tell him.”
I’m up and out of the bed and across the room in a blink that has my leg screaming in protest. But I don’t care as I throw my arms around Sabrina.
“I’m so happy for you.”
“Don’t get too happy yet,” she laughs, hugging me back. Letting go, she gives me a long stern look. “Are you okay with this though?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I—” I freeze and my throat closes up at the thoughtfulness. “It’s so kind of you to consider my feelings.”
“I want you to be a part of this, but only if you’re truly okay with it.”
I hug her again. “I am, I promise.”
She pulls out one of the boxes and hurries to the bathroom. “Wish me luck, guys.”
“Noah’s retirement might be right around the corner,” Whimsy says softly. “How’s Fisher going to handle that?”
“He’ll be fine,” I answer without hesitation, because I know he will be. Whether he decides to coach Elias or someone else or do something different altogether, I know it’ll work out.
Sabrina emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later. “And now I wait,” she sighs. “But while I’m waiting…” She plucks two more tests out of the bag, holding one out to me and another to Whimsy.
“No way.” Whimsy shakes her head, frowning at the box like it’s poisonous. “Get that thing away from me.”
“Oh, come on,” Sabrina cajoles, waving the box in her face. “Don’t let me wait alone.”
“Ugh,” she groans, snatching the box. “Okay, fine. But you owe me one.”
“Thank you,” Sabrina sing-songs as Whimsy heads to the bathroom. “Don’t think I forgot you.” She hands me a box.
I take it from her, the blood draining from my face as I do. I feel cold all over.
I thought it was the flu but what if…
With Grace I felt sick all the time like I do now. I didn’t want to get out of bed, and I struggled to keep anything down, staying glued to a toilet for most of the day. I don’t know how I managed to forget.
“Hey, are you okay?” Sabrina’s smile slips off her face. “Fuck. I’m sorry. If you don’t want to take one that’s okay.” She tries to take the box back, but I tighten my hold.
“Sabrina.” I force myself to meet her stare. “What if I don’t have the flu?”
I see my words hit her, the slow process of them before her lips slowly part. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” I pluck at the edge of the box. “Oh.” Shaking my head, I mutter, “I don’t know why the possibility didn’t cross my mind. I had similar symptoms last time.”
She settles her hand over top of mine. “Just take the test and see. Don’t overthink it yet.”
I bite my lip, nervously fiddling with the box while I wait for Whimsy to finish up.
I’m not sure how I feel about the possibility of being pregnant. Obviously, it wouldn’t be planned, and Fisher and I are in a good spot, but a baby is a huge deal. Especially since we’ve only been back together a few months. But it’s not fear that I feel. It’s longing. It’s hope settling deep in my chest. I know it won’t be the end of the world if the test is negative. I wasn’teven trying to get pregnant. But I find myself hoping that it’ll be positive.
Whimsy exits the bathroom with a flourish, oblivious to what’s going on. “Your turn, Ebs,” she announces, staring down at the stick in her hand with a grimace.
I scurry into the bathroom and quickly do my business.
It’s okay if it’s negative, I tell myself as I settle back with the girls so we can wait for all our results to be ready. We all hold our respective tests with the part of the test that will show the outcome covered by our hands.Don’t get your hopes up.