I let out a sigh, playing with the ruffled edge of my sock so I don’t have to look at either of them. But the distraction doesn’t prevent me from feeling their stare. “I think being with him these last weeks, I find it hard to stay mad at someone who so clearly still has regrets and pain too. I was hormonal and emotional and I lashed out. I told him … I told him he was probably happy, relieved that I miscarried, and I can still see the horrified look on his face to this day.” I close my eyes. “But I was so broken, and I wanted him to feel as broken as me. I told him I was done and it was for the best, we could just go back to being strangers who rotated in the same circles.”
“Oh, Ebba.” Sabrina gets up and settles beside me, wrapping me in her arms. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that by yourself.”
Whimsy scoots over, joining our group hug. “You could’ve told us.”
“I know, but I think I felt silly,” I confess. “I lost a baby fairly early in the pregnancy. What right did I have to be devastated?”
Whimsy’s face falls. “Ebba, listen to me, we’re all women here and I might not be a mom yet, but I know the minute I see a positive pregnancy test one day I will be the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ll become a mom in that moment. Losing your baby doesn’t make you less of a mother. You deserve to grieve the same as everyone else. It doesn’t matter when a loss like that happens. It’s still devastating.”
My bottom lip trembles and the tears begin to flood out of me. I don’t think I’ve ever let myself cry like this. The sobs shake my entire body.
“I’m sorry,” I say as they comfort me. “This is the night before your wedding and I’m ruining everything.”
Sabrina squeezes me even tighter. “You’re not ruining anything. I’m happy that you’re finally opening up to us.”
I have to admit that there’s certainly a weight off my shoulders. It’s a heavy burden I’ve been carrying around for years—so long I didn’t even know how badly it was weighing me down.
“This calls for wine and more snacks,” Whimsy declares. She scurries over to the table where our spread of drinks and snacks lie.
“I’ll help her,” Sabrina says, giving my knee a pat. She rises with enviable ease—my injured leg could never—and grabs two of the already poured wine glasses from Whimsy. She hands me one and I take a sip, closing my eyes to savor the flavor.
“Should we put a movie on?” I ask.
“What’s a sleepover without one?” Whimsy says. “Sabrina, you’re the bride, what movie do you want?”
“I’m not sure. Something with a wedding maybe?”
Whimsy grins. “I know just the thing.” She scoops up the remote and a minute laterThe Princess Diaries 2is playing. “I have to admit I like this one even more than the first.”
The three of us end up climbing into the bed together, watching the movie with our wine and snacks, facemasks on and giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.
“Thank you,” Sabrina says a while later after the movie is over and we’ve all washed our faces free of our masks and brushed our teeth. “This has been the best night before my wedding I could ask for.”
I laugh, fluffing the pillow I’m going to use. “You’ll take us over Noah?”
She shrugs with a small smile. “Tomorrow starts a lifetime with Noah. It’s nice to just be a girl hanging out with her friends tonight.”
Sometimes it’s easy to forget as an adult, that we’re still just girls. Who says these kinds of things need to stop as you get older?
CHAPTER 32
FISHER
Seeingmy best friend so happy again has me feeling surprisingly choked up.
Noah grins as he spins his bride around on the dancefloor, both of them laughing. Maddie runs up and without hesitation they both reach out a hand to her and then it’s all three of them dancing.
I approach Ebba at the table and set a fresh glass of champagne in front of her before I kick out the chair beside her. There’s a wistful look on her face as she watches our friends and her brother and Whimsy on the dancefloor along with others.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask, bringing the beer I got to my lips.
She turns to me. “Love really is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?”
My heart clenches and my eyes flick over her. “It is.”
We haven’t had too much time to chat today, between getting ready, the ceremony—where she walked down on my arm—and all of the photos. Dinner was served a little while ago and we were both so hungry we stuffed our faces without saying a word.
Grabbing the bottom of her seat, I drag her closer to me. She raises a brow, a small smile pulling at her lips.