“Yes, you don’t, do you?”
“No,” I agree. “I don’t ever.”
She lifts her head and studies my face, her eyes flickering between mine, searching again. She leans forward and brushes her lips against mine, slower this time, deliberate, sealingsomething unspoken between us. When she pulls back, her gaze is steady.
“I walked into this willingly, Axel, but I did so knowing that it could be temporary. I love what we shared this weekend, but once we’re back in our real lives, it will be different. We won’t be playing tourist and wandering the streets like teenagers in love.”
“We could. Technically, you’re a tourist in New York.”
“Axel,” she warns softly.
“I know,” I say. “We made a deal, and I will stand by it for as long as you want me to.”
“I … you think I’ll change my mind and come to you?”
I grin wolfishly. “Oh, I know you will.”
And she laughs. And I swear it’s the most beautiful sound in the world.
Paris was supposed to be compartmentalized. Left behind at thirty thousand feet. Even when I lied and said Delacroix was out of town for the weekend, it was only to buy me a couple of extra days. But everything has changed now.
But what happened in Paris isn’t staying there anymore. Now I am playing the long game, and I will wait as long as it takes for Jo to accept that what we have can’t be contained by geography, by a deal… by anything.
Chapter
Thirty-Five
JO
https://www.youtube.com/watch" morinfos="?v=IATz8ZVTALo
-sometimes when we touch-
When the front door closed behind us with a soft click, an hour or so ago, I knew that suddenly the last remaining wisp of Parisian air was gone, replaced by the warm, familiar hush of my father’s house. Axel asked me to have dinner with him tonight, and I agreed. I have unpacked, showered, and changed, and I am ready to go downstairs to meet him in the dining room.
I don’t know how I feel about this whole affair.
I was worried that sex with Axel over the weekend was a bad idea because I might get a bit too attached to him and find it hard to let go. What I didn’t expect was to fall head over heels in love with him. But I have. I told myself I would obviously have to let him go, but then when we were on the way to the airport, he started saying things … dangerous things. Now that I know he doesn’t want to leave Paris in Paris, it kind of complicates things.
Because I still know there’s no future for us long-term.
If I feel this bereft at the thought of letting him go after spending one weekend with Axel, how much harder would it be if I let myself spend the next ten months with him and then have to let him go? The reality is I’ve started calling this place home, but it’s only a temporary home. After a year, I must go back to London, where my real life is, and Axel will be here, where his real life is. I have to be strong now to stop me from breaking completely down the line.
At the same time, it would be too weird if Axel and I went back to moving around the mansion trying not to bump into each other. I would like us to be friends if nothing else, which is why I agreed to this dinner tonight. Axel knows that it is only dinner. I think I made that very clear. I mean, he laughed and said whatever. I guess the ball is in my court on that score. He has made his intentions known, and he is waiting for me to come to him now. I just have to keep the ball firmly over here. It’s going to be hard, I’m sure, but I am determined to do it.
I make my way across the landing and down the stairs. As I head for the dining room, I can smell the scent of the newly waxed floors. It’s quiet here. Too quiet, in a way. My heels echo on the marble as I walk down the long hallway towards the dining room. I enter the room, and Axel stands when he sees me. Axel has a careful, quiet command about him, the kind of presence that makes a room feel smaller, more intimate. He smiles at me, and instantly, I begin to doubt my decision to leave Paris behind us.
“Good evening,” I say shyly as I approach the table. The candle light flickers against the polished mahogany table, dancing across the crystal and the plates already laid out with impeccable precision.
Axel pulls a chair out for me next to the head of the table, and I sit to his right. The table has been set for two, and I feelsuddenly awkward, although I don’t know why. I suddenly don’t know where to look, what to say, or where to put my hands. I reach out and take a sip from the water glass nearest to me. The water is cold and crisp, and I sip again before setting it back down. Axel glances at me out of the corner of his eye.
“You’re unusually quiet,” he notes.
I decide the only way to get past the awkwardness is to just be myself and let time do its thing. “And you’re unusually observant.” The light teasing tone in my voice belies the flutter in my stomach.
“I notice when things shift,” he says smoothly. “Small movements. Little tells.”
I give a nervous laugh. “Then I guess you’re more dangerous than I thought you were.”