Okay.
Such a small word for something that feels monumental.
Clay pulls us both tighter, like he’s afraid one of us might disappear if he loosens his grip.
“We’re really doing this,” he says, almost to himself.
“Yeah,” I reply, pressing a kiss into Jo’s temple, then Clay’s cheek. “We are.”
And for the first time since all of this began, I’m not afraid of what comes next.
I’m looking forward to it.
34
Jolee
I think Grant is trying to kill me. He makes me ache everywhere. I wanted him to throw me down and stuff me as he said.
It’s been a long freaking week of waiting and thinking of them. A little distance does make the heart grow fonder, for sure. They are all I can think about, but in the best way.
Who knew I’d go from virgin to slut so quickly? Well, just a slut for them. I still have so much to learn, but I have a feeling they’re willing to teach me anything I want to know.
My closet looks like a tornado went through it. What do I wear tonight? I don’t think I’ve ever thought about what I’m going to wear for more than two minutes, and I'm pretty sure I’ve been in here, naked, for an hour already.
Somehow, Grant knew exactly what I needed. These dates are more than they think. This is the part of me that wants to live and experience life. These are the small steps that I need.
Grant and Clay know my life has been nonexistent except for working. Endless hours of work. That’s where I hide from everything. I didn’t go to movies, hang out at a bar, or go to dinner. Not even with the few friends I do have here.
I had another therapy session this week and unloaded more emotions. Just talking to someone in a safe space is helping. It feels like a huge weight off me that I no longer have to carry. She challenges me, though. Asks me tough questions and helps me process things. I’m healing slowly and rebuilding myself to be the woman I want to be. I might have missed a few years, but I still have so much of my life left, and I don’t want to miss any more of it.
I decide on dark jeans, a forest-green sweater, and short boots. They didn’t tell me what we are doing, so this will be good enough. My hair is down, and so straight it shines. A little makeup and extra gloss on my red lips. I have to tempt them a little bit, maybe get a few kisses tonight.
My apartment buzzer goes off right on time. I lock up my apartment and head towards the main door.
“You look beautiful.” Clay kisses my hand before helping me into their truck.
“Thank you. Now, will you tell me where you’re taking me? It’s driving me mad. I’ve been trying to guess all week.”
He laughs. “No, we wanted to surprise you for our first date.”
“Ok, handsome. I guess I’ll let it slide this time.” I look over to Grant, who’s just smiling at us. “Hey, Grant.”
“Hi, Jo. You look tempting. Are you ready?”
“As ready as I can be, considering neither of you is telling me what we are doing tonight.” I tease them. They could really take me anywhere. I’m not picky, and I’m sure they will make it a good time.
We have light conversation on the drive there. Grant parks and comes to help me out, and steals a quick kiss on the cheek. Oh, these guys are going to drive me crazy tonight. At least they’re both in jeans, too. Ones that hug their asses, and damn, do I want to see them naked again.
I don’t even realize where we are because I’m too distracted. The music hits my ears first, pulling me from staring at perfection and recognizing that we are at Mal’s bar.
“I know it’s nothing fancy, but tonight is live music, and we wanted you to have some fun.”
Fun. I like that idea. “I might be really bad at this. I’m a little out of practice, and you might be surprised to know that I’ve never been here.”
“Really? Never?” Grant asks, looking a little surprised.
“Does that mean another first with us, Jo?” Clay whispers.