“I will. Promise. I could use some girlfriend time.”
Her gaze flitted over me, so soft and concerned I had to look down at my steaming cup.
“I bet. I’m here to talk or distract or whatever. And if you need snuggle time, Abigail’s pretty amenable once you get to know her.”
That made me smile. “How could I refuse an offer like that?”
Phoebe had to wait on a few customers, so I said my goodbyes to Deacon and Abigail and carried my tea and pastries down Main Street. As Gray’s Diner came into view, my stomach rumbled. Living off gas station junk and fast food the last few days, a real, hot dinner was exactly what I needed before I passed out in my motel room.
I pulled open the door and went inside. The smell of french fries and onions hit me with a wave of nostalgia, sending me back a couple steps. I could almost picture Phoebe and me sitting at the counter, sipping milkshakes, giggling over boys.
I turned my head, finding the corner booth where I’d spent hours with Cormac, trading comic books and telling each other our secrets.
Not every secret, though. Some I’d kept to myself.
And right up until the night before my wedding, I’d wondered how things would have turned out if I hadn’t. That was when every question I’d ever had was answered. Cormac Kelly had once been my best friend, but I’d never been his. That much I knew to be true.
I forced my gaze away from the booth before I could spiral into the melancholy I’d left in Oregon, scanning the other side of the diner.
Everything stopped.
My heart. Time. The earth.
As if conjuring him with my thoughts, my eyes landed on the man I’d been trying to shove out of my mind. Even worse, he looked incredible. The sleeves of his crisp white dress shirt were rolled up, a few buttons at his collar left undone, exposing the golden skin of his throat. His wavy hair was longer now, darker in the low light, and his smile was easy as he laughed at something the woman across from him said.
My mouth was desert-dry, and my tongue was too big to do any kind of swallowing. The air around me grew suffocatingly hot, and my pulse rushed in my ears. I shouldn’t have felt this…this panic. It didn’t make sense. I’d washed my hands of this man and the way he’d made me feel a long time ago.
Had it really only been three years since he’d sat at the back of the chapel, watching me marry Jackson—since he’d tried to talk him out of marrying me? If only Jackson had listened…
A tap on my shoulder made me flinch.
“Table for one?” a teenage waitress asked, menus stacked in her arms.
“No,” I blurted. “Sorry. I can’t stay.”
She shrugged, already turning away.
What was I doing? I had to get myself together. I couldn’t have a panic attack every time I saw Cormac. Chances were it was going to happen quite a bit this summer. We wouldn’t be working together directly, but we’d both be on the ranch and in this town.
That didn’t mean it had to happen this very second.
I pulled in a breath and headed for the exit, taking one last look at Cormac—which turned out to be a fatal error. His pale-blue eyes clashed with mine, flaring with what looked a lot like shock. I tripped over my own feet and stumbled, nearly dropping my box from Sugar Rush.
I righted myself just in time, clutching the pink box carefully. Then heat rushed up my neck, and another wave of panic shot through me.
Cormac was halfway out of his booth.
Nope.
Absolutely not. I wasnotready for that.
I yanked the door open and burst out onto Main Street, the bell jangling behind me. My sandals slapped against the sidewalk, my heart hammering like I was fleeing a crime scene instead of a man I hadn’t spoken to in years.
Get it together, Zara.
I didn’t stop until I reached my car and slid into the driver’s seat. Then…I just sat there, forehead resting against the steering wheel, breathing like I’d run a mile.
I squeezed my eyes shut, willing his image out of my mind. The way his eyes had gone wide. The way his body had instinctively moved toward me. The fact that, even now, some traitorous partof me had taken note of the breadth of his shoulders and how stupidly gorgeous he’d grown to be.