She might hurt me, the way her eyes are locked on my feet, so I lower them immediately. I don’t want to die today.
“Answer my question.” Her voice cracks like a whip, making me flinch. One would think a lifetime of being on the receiving end of her shortness would make me okay with it, but nah.
“Why is it that your southern hospitality applies to everyone but me?”
She slams her hands on the desk, breathing in, trying but failing not to lose her carefully crafted self-control. “Can you just answer the question, please?”
The faster I’m done with the trial, the quicker I’ll be able to enjoy my day, so let’s go. “I finished early.”
“What did you finish early?” Her brain evaporated, I’m sure of it. Must be the countless hours she spends working instead of busting a nut.
No, wait.
Flicking her bean?
Same, same.
I laugh at my own thoughts before answering anyway. “School.” The obvious answer. I can almost hear mom’s voice in my head, telling me to show her kindness, to be patient with people’s emotions, because not everyone wears them on their sleeves. So, I take a deep breath and try.
“Don’t you graduate this summer?” For someone so smart, she surely is dense sometimes. Trying to be patient is not working.
At all.
Ugh.
“I finished early,” I repeat.
“Why?” God forbid we deviate from a plan.
“Gee, Lilly, because I’m smart? Dedicated? Because I could? I thought you’d be happy for me to come home and bring some joy to this place. You’re always complaining about something. Besides, this is my home too.”
She cocks her head to the side. “It is, isn’t it?”
“Yup!” I shout loud and proud.
“Well, I don’t have time to babysit you, Riley,” she says.
“I am twenty-two years old. I’ve lived by myself for the past four years. You don’thave to babysitme.”
“Are you still living with your head in the clouds, dreaming of traveling and seeing the world instead of settling down and finding an actual job?”
Oh, here we go again. As if traveling is such a bad idea. I love it here, I do, and although I thought I didn’t want my whole life to be the ranch and responsibilities, I’m not sure that'snotwhat I want anymore. The time I spent seeing, exploring, and living backfired, and I missed the ranch even more. She knows this, of course, but she still throws it in my face every time I want to talk about anything. “Well, what’s the point if you’re just going to leave either way?”Well, sis, maybe if you weren’t such a bi?—
“Riley?” Her voice snaps me from my thoughts.
“Yes, I still want to travel, of course, but that doesn’t mean Iwill right now.” She has no clue I’ve spent the past three months doing that, chasing a high I never found, feeling less alive with every day I spent away. “And I thought you said the ranch needed all the hands we could get, so I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal that I showed up a few months early. Put me to work!”
Trust me with something, I want to add, but I don’t.
“Actually, that might not be a bad idea after all. Can you stay out of trouble long enough for me to give you a few tasks?”
I bring my hand to my forehead, ready to salute her. “Aye, aye, captain.” I giggle, she scoffs—typical interaction here.
“I need the morning to gather a few things for you, can you come back later?”
“Fine,” I chirp. “I’m going for a run. I’ll be back later.”
“Please be careful. The ranch is very different from the last time you were here.” Her words stab me right in the chest.You haven’t been here. You don’t know what’s going on. I can’t babysit you. All words I’m used to hearing, as if it wasn’t her idea for me to leave it all behind and go to college twelve hours away. Once I saw what’s out there, well, coming back became harder.