We’d spent that precious time we had together mostly talking about how amazing the area she found an apartment in was, how one of her neighbors was going to be her costar.
“I do,” I told her. “I want you to be extraordinarily, can’t-believe-your-luck, can’t-even-sleep-you’re-so-excited-about-life happy.”
“I want that for you, too. And I will be back here for all the bridal party and all the other festivities.”
“Sof, that’s not—”
“Oh, please. I saw you two together. It’s inevitable. And I’m so happy you found the one person you will let take care of you. Okay. I’ve gotta get going. I love you more than anything,” she said, throwing her arms around me.
“Check in every single time you stop.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Drive safe. And you be a good girl,” I told Hammy, giving her head a last pet.
Then I stood there—watching, waving—until the car was out of sight.
Then I walked inside, upstairs, dropped onto my bed, and sobbed as the loneliness overtook me, acutely aware of howalone I was, how alone I would continue to be, how empty my life suddenly felt.
Eventually, not for the first time, I cried myself to sleep.
—
It was the creak that woke me up.
I was intimately acquainted with this house and its quirks: the way you had to jiggle the handle on the downstairs toilet, how the upstairs shower made a strange screaming sound when you first turned it on, the windows that whistled… and the steps that creaked.
I shot up in bed, my heart flying into my throat.
For a second, something like hope swelled.
Like maybe Sofia got a few hours away, decided she didn’t want this new life after all, turned around, and drove back to me.
But no.
No.
I’d gotten my text updates as I’d been grieving. Each gas station stop, places she stopped to eat and walk Hammy, most of them with pictures.
Even if she had turned around, she wouldn’t have made it back the same night.
That wasn’t her on the steps.
But itwassomeone.
The windows had been alarmed, and doors had been locked. Rune had gotten through the locks before, though, while reminding me that they shouldn’t be so trusted.
Could it have been him?
Did he come back?
If it was, why wouldn’t he just knock?
No.
It wasn’t Rune.
The other thing about knowing my house so well was that I knew my bed. My secondhand metal bed. With its rusty supports and loose headboard. It sounded like the damn thing was about to fall apart when I simply turned over in my sleep.