“Axe,” Caroline calls out once again, causing me to stop and turn around, “last summer he did some fucked up shit.” She pauses and laughs. “Since we are being honest with one another. Whatever you did, she’ll forgive you.”
“You don’t know that.” I whisper, realizing that I want her to, one day, forgive me, just not today. Because every time I see her, I feel her slowly chipping away at my self-control.
“I do.” She smiles again.
“What did he do?”
“Everything he could think of to hurt me.” I can see the tears in her eyes, which shocks me.
“And you forgive him?” I question once again.
“Not completely. At least, not yet” she pauses, looking up to me and slightly chuckles, “but I’m here, aren’t I?”
“But he almost died.”
“I know, but it seems that some people, no matter how much they purposefully try to hurt you, you can never hate them.”
“I don’t know. What I did—” her laughter cuts off my thought.
“He sent me videos of him in a threesome with two chicks.”Fuck. “And he purposefully made it so I would see him fucking someone else.”
“And you’re still here?” I laugh out loud.
Shrugging, she laughs again. “I can’t explain it. He was hurt. I didn’t even realize I was leaving until I was on the plane.” She smirks, then she sighs and becomes uncomfortable. “I’m going to go get a shower and then make something to force him to eat.”
“Force him?” I ask her, causing her to laugh again.
“Yeah, he’s fucking stubborn. When he realizes that it’s me who’s supposed to take care of him, he’s going to lose his shit.”
Moving out of the bathroom, I can feel the tears threatening to fall from my lids, but push them down. Why does he have to pretend to care sometimes?
Opening the door, I slip into the car and shut it behind me. The car jolts forward before Jake says anything.
As he pulls up to my house, I notice that all the lights are still off. Suddenly I wish I wouldn’t have left. I wish that I would have told Axe that I didn’t feel safe because I know even if he didn’t want to, he would have protected me.
“Thanks for coming with me tonight.” I look over, telling Jake.
“Okay.” Is all he says, without even looking at me. Since I met Jake at that party a few weeks ago, we have been out a couple of times, but I have never felt that connection. At least, I have never felt the same connection as I had with Axe from the second that I saw him.
“Ella, just be honest with me. Did you fuck him?” He asks me again.
“I already told you no, I never have.”
“But you wanted to?” He pauses. “He tried to?”
“No, he never tried to.” I whisper.
“So, you wanted to.” He looks over at me and I glance away quickly. “Fuck, what is he like 30?”
“He’s 25.” I correct Jake, causing him to laugh out, sarcastically.
“Like that’s a huge fucking difference.” It’s ironic that he’s trying to say that Axe is too old for me, yet saying that the age difference between 25 and 30 isn’t that big of a difference. And Jake is three years older than I am.
“I mean, it isn’t much less than the difference between him and I.”
“That’s different.” Jake spits out at me as I sit, staring straight ahead.
“How so?” I finally glance over at him, snapping out.