I would like to imagine how its buds open and its blossoms unfold. I want to watch as it grows big and strong and magnificent. Still, I’d better not allow this image to rise up inside me.
Nothing is certain.
To picture a future, to pour a foundation for it so you can one day build a house on it, move in, have a husband, children, a life. That’s what one-percent people do, in their euphoric unawareness, their blissful ignorance.
I’m not a one-percent person, and I never will be again.
‘Okay, then let’s finish cleaning your wardrobe.’ With these words, Olive whirls around, pulls on the rubber gloves again, and turns to the cleaning bucket.
I fold the T-shirt next to me into a bundle that will hopefully meet Olive’s standards, and reach for the next one. It’s dark blue, like the rescue uniform Jaden was wearing today.
Jaden.
I already realized during the treatment that we would see each other again. But that we might run into each other as soon as tomorrow at the rescue station—that I didn’t expect when we said goodbye today.
Until next time, Superhero. Take care of yourself,I said
His answer was,See you, Miss Worst Case. Don’t forget to smile.
Don’t forget to smile… his voice echoes inside me as I fold the shirt and want nothing more than for it to be as easy as it sounds coming from his mouth.
Chapter Six
JADEN
Only a few cars trundle along the street in the light of the rising sun, their exhaust fumes scratching at my nose.
It’s way too quiet, so my headphones are on full volume. The bass pounds in my head along with the pain radiating from the gash.
The night was short, the party all the longer. If this Nyla knew how I spent last night, she’d probably faint on the spot, as worried as she is about everything under the sun. I, on the other hand, am only thinking about the fact that my shift is about to start and I desperately need the coffee in my hand. On the way to the rescue center, I drain it at record speed. It helps against the tiredness, but my headache gets worse. Of course I don’t have any pills with me, but there are plenty of them at the station.
When the dark red flat-roofed building appears in front of me, my phone rings.
Mom.
I quickly reject the call and pick up my pace. I pass the ambulances lined up neatly in the parking lot and wave to my colleagues, who are busy restocking supplies and medications to be ready for today’s shift.
I take the headphones out of my ears, push open the glass door at the entrance, and walk straight over to Mia, who coordinates our runs.
‘What are you doing here?’ She adjusts her zebra-print glasses. ‘Shouldn’t you call in sick instead?’
‘I’m fine—it was just a scratch—but an ibuprofen would be great. Do you have one for me?’ Casually, I lean against her desk.
First she eyes me sceptically, but then she opens the top drawer of her desk and hands me a bottle of ibuprofen.
‘So, have you already reassigned Ray today, or can I ride with him?’ I ask, fishing out a pill. She shakes her head. ‘Or would you rather I stay here with you?’ I raise my eyebrows. ‘I’m sure we’d have a lot of fun.’
‘I’m sure.’ She laughs, then gives me a serious look. ‘Okay, I’ll assign you, but only if, for a change, you skip the heroics today,’ she says. ‘Do you promise me that?’
I shift my weight to the other leg. ‘Mia, Mia, have I ever promised you anything?’ She sighs meaningfully. ‘So why should I start today?’
‘Yeah, why indeed?’ My colleague props her chin in her hands and bats her fake eyelashes. ‘Good thing it’s me doing the assignments, then.’
She turns to her computer, her fingers gliding over the keyboard. I lean forward to get a clear view of the screen, where the shift schedule is open. I follow the mouse pointer.
It stops at Unit 5-8-1. Alex is assigned as driver; now Mia types my name into the field for the first paramedic and assigns Alex to another unit. ‘I thought I couldn’t staff the vehicle today, but…’
The mouse pointer darts to Unit 7-1-3.