So he was serious earlier? The craziest thing he’s ever done was invite me here? ‘Why do you never have guests here?’
‘Oh, I have visitors all the time.’ He cuts off a piece of his steak.
So it has something to do with me personally. I slide forward on my chair and brace my arms on the table so I can look him deep in the eyes. ‘Then why was it so crazy to invite me?’
‘Well, now you not only know where I live, but also where my spare key is.’ He gives me a casual wink.
‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to claim a shelf in your closet, and your toothbrush will never have to share the cup with mine for very long,’ I say, thinking of what we agreed on.
He catches my gaze with his own. ‘Okay.’ Even though he smiles at me, he looks strangely disappointed.
I reach my hand out to him, trace the fine lines of the tattoos on his forearms and wonder what they mean.
‘Don’t worry, I personally made sure they used a fresh needle and followed all the aftercare instructions to the letter,’ I hear him say, and suddenly I realize how much this man has changed me.
The Nyla I’ve been since my illness would have thought about exactly that. The dirty needles, infections, autoimmune reactions, sepsis. But to the Nyla who is sitting across from him now, that didn’t matter at all just now. She wanted to know what kind of person was behind the shapes and colors and why he chose exactly those images.
In that moment I realize that there aren’t only risks. That I am neither a twenty-five-percent person nor a six-percent person.
I am a ninety-four-percent person, because that’s how high my chance is of staying healthy.
The thought floods me along with the confidence, the possibilities, the happiness that lies in it. There is hardly any room for that fear I thought I could never defeat.
There is only my heart, beating strong and healthy in my chest. And there is Jaden, the man who has brought about far more than I previously thought.
I lean across the table. ‘Kiss me,’ I whisper hoarsely, because that’s what I want.
That and so much more.
Not just simply us, simply here, simply now.
But tomorrow as well.
Smiling gently, he rises from his chair and comes toward me. The candle flame warms my cheek, I push myself up with my hands, sink into his eyes, which are full of longing, wanting to fly with him. But before our lips touch, a bright clinking makes me flinch.
I look around in a panic.
Our wineglasses have tipped over, the shards are scattered all over the table, the wine is soaking my shirt.
‘Oh man.’ I pull the damp shirt tight in front of my stomach and look at the burgundy-red stains on the white background.
Jaden laughs at the sight of the chaos. ‘Okay, an unplanned rescue mission. No problem, that’s what we’re good at, after all.’
‘I’m really sorry.’ I start gathering up the shards.
He holds me back. ‘I’ll do it,’ he says lovingly, then points to a door opposite the sofa. ‘There are fresh shirts in the closet.’
I brush a grateful kiss on his lips, cross the living area, and enter his bedroom. My gaze lingers on his bed, images of him and me fluttering through my mind. How we kiss, touch, lose ourselves in each other. How we fall asleep together. How the first rays of the morning sun stroke our bodies as we lie pressed close together.
With a dreamy sigh, I open the wardrobe door. A sheet of paper flutters up and sails to the floor in front of me. I bend down to pick it up.
Is this a letter? No, not a letter, but notes. The items are numbered.
1. Adopt a dog from the animal shelter.
What is this?
2. Get up in the middle of the night, hike up a mountain and watch the sunrise.