The familiarity of my long-time friend was dispelling the worst of the haze, but the bloodlust hadn’t released me. It wouldn’t yet, not until it got what it wanted. That was the way of the beast.
“Did he torture you in other ways too?”
One of her lumoons flew toward me, drawing slowly across every major part of my body. “Is that a…” She growled, a sound I’d never heard from her, not even when our friendship grew too close. “Did he put a collar on you?”
I hummed and eked out, “Power.”
Her eyelids stuttered. “Are you telling me that collar dampens your power?”
Another hum from me.
“By the Ethers, that’s not possible.” She stared at my collar for several beats. “It shouldn’t be possible. That’s … no one should be able to take our power! It’s our unique gift from the very Ethers. No one living is to interfere with that. Our power is sacred.”
“Not sacred.”
“I very much disagree, Sora. Our power is as sacred to us as our very essence.”
I meant that I hadn’t experienced my power as sacred, not that it wasn’t supposed to be. Not much about my life had ever felt sacred, and what little ever had—Teo, Isi, or my love for them, anyway—had been ripped from me.
“I’m getting that collar and chain off you.” Marina took a step toward me, then stopped before she entered my range of attack. “You need to feed first.” She sucked in angry breaths. “Feed off me.”
I shook my head so hard that my collar rattled.
“Sora, this isn’t the time for arguments. You must.”
I shook my head again.
“I’m here to help you escape. I don’t know how long we have, maybe not more than another few minutes. The emperor and empress are here.”
I growled.
“Alobaz is occupied for now. The Fuerin must be guiding our way. It’s the first time he’s left your door unguarded. Everyone’s with the emperor.
“You need to feed or you’ll never be able to focus. It’s not easy, getting in and out of the castle. She’s every bit as vicious as Rafaela said she was.”
Once more, I shook my head, my long, loose hair lashing against my shoulders and face.
Marina pressed her palms together in entreaty but didn’t draw nearer. “Sora … you have no choice.”
Maybe. Maybe the bloodlust had robbed me of my decision: whether or not I embodied the monster that would always be a part of me. But if I was going to lose control when I fed—and after so many days of starvation, I would, it was guaranteed—then I wasn’t going to drain dead the very last creature in the entire Opalese who really, truly, loved me—no matter what I did or didn’t do.
Alonso and Rafaela loved me too, I knew they did. But they’d been bred and raised to rule; and royalty never loved as wholly as normal fae did.
“I can’t.” My voice was deep and rough—not yet my own.
“You have to.”
“I won’t.”
“You’re chained up. I’ll only let you drink so much before I stop you.”
I barked a hoarse laugh. Not even with the full range of her impressive goblin magic would she be able to halt me when I was in the throes of bloodlust-driven consumption. My fae power was dampened, but it wasn’t my only strength. I’d trained since my rebirth to harness every advantage of my sänglure nature. I was faster, stronger, and many times more lethal.
“I can stop you,” Marina insisted.
“You can’t.” My monster called for blood, blood, blood—hers, Baz’s, everyone’s … anyone’s.
“Then I’ll bust open your ankle shackle, zoom away before you can catch me, and you can drain everyone you come across on our way out of the castle. Cosette’s here. You can kill her.”