“We can’t just release it in the wild. It’s illegal to do that with an invasive non-native species. That’s why some places in Florida have so many problems with iguanas. And pythons in the Everglades.”
“So what will you do with it?”
Maybe my uncle would want it. But he specialized in gators, and I wasn’t sure if he even had proper accommodation for a smaller reptile.
I peered into the container at the critter. It really was rather beautiful, with skin the color of grass in the sunshine.
“Looks like Catsy will have a new friend, at least for now.”
# # #
The arrival of the iguana in the house boosted Vera’s mood. Wildlife always had, ever since we were kids. We both brought home stray animals, but she had a special love for ones that were unusual and slightly gross. For instance, I didn’t mind snakes, but she adored them. The only reason she didn’t keep them as pets was that she didn’t think she had time to care for them, and because she thought having reptiles would turn off a potential partner.
So when Jack and I toted in the iguana, she cooed like it was the Gerber Baby in the flesh.
“Poor thing, in that toilet all alone,” she said. “We have to keep it.”
She dug out an old aquarium my dad had stashed in the garage, and Jack was kind enough to run to the pet store for a heat-emitting bulb, some food, and a fake tree branch it could climb in its spare time.
I suspected that within a few weeks, the iguana would have a larger enclosure. My sister squealed and clapped her hands as the creature climbed the branch. “Let’s name it Harry! After Harry Styles!”
Jack and I looked at each other and shrugged. “Sure,” I said. All I wanted was for Vera to be happy, and if naming the green creature after an international sex symbol made her heart sing, then I was all for it. We set Harry’s tank on a table in the living room, so we could simultaneously keep an eye on him and watch TV.
The three of us sat, staring at Harry, who was hanging upside down on the fake branch. He seemed to be pleased with his new surroundings. Catsy walked in, gazed at the tank, then wandered off, unimpressed.
Vera shifted her body to look at us.
“Tell me about what you did today, and where you took those photos of Tyler. I thought you were going to get a new driver’s license, not play detective.” Her nostrils twitched and flared, and I worried she was going to lose her shit when she heard what we’d discovered about Tyler.
“I did, in fact, get a new license. Then Jack and I went to visit a city council candidate. Or tried to.”
Jack filled her in on what we’d found. I clammed up and let him tell the story because somehow the recounting of seeing Tyler walk up to the woman’s door with a bouquet of flowers seemed less offensive coming from him. Although I did pepper his story with the whispered words “prick” and “human ingrown toenail” a couple of times.
Vera’s hardened expression crumpled into one of sadness. Her eyes welled with tears. “I don’t know what to think.”
I did, and was about to give her a piece of my mind when my cell rang. It was the regular ring, not the gator one. I answered.
“Maggie? Is that you?”
It was a male voice, and I said yes.
“It’s Diego. From FETA. I think I have some footage you and your partner might want to see. It involves some pretty powerful people in town. Can we meet at a secure location?” His tone was serious.
A secure location? What was this? Watergate and Deep Throat? “Why don’t you just come over to my house? My, uh, investigating partner is here, and so is my sister.”
It was high time she got involved with our inquest. She needed to see and hear all evidence against her precious Tyler so she could quit him once and for all.
“OK, I can do that. But you don’t live with any cops, do you? Or live next to them?”
“No cops here, just the three of us, a cat, and now an iguana named Harry that we rescued from a toilet today.”
“You like reptiles? Cool,” he said. “But you can’t tell anyone I’m on my way.”
“Your secret’s safe with us. Come on over.” I gave him the address and hung up, rolling my eyes a little. Men could be so dramatic.
“Diego said he has some footage he wants us to see.”
Jack raised an eyebrow. Vera threw up her hands. “Who is Diego?”