“Always thought you were better than us,” she sneered, showing her yellowing teeth. “Ever since you could walk you wanted out. Think you’re so fucking special,” she huffed.
“All right, enough of this fucking bullshit,” Sal barked, making me jump. He pushed me behind him slightly and turned the full extent of his ferocity on my mother. “The fact my woman came out of your seriously fucked up loins to become who she is today is a fuckin’ miracle,” he growled. “Now, let me be clear. She’s not giving you shit. And you’re not bringin’ your shit to her door ever again. You do and you deal with me,” he threatened.
“I’m not the only one who thinks she could settle my debts if she chose,” she exclaimed, her eyes wide with desperation.
“Yeah, let’s get back to that,” Sal demanded gruffly, his arms crossed and his legs spread wide as he glared down at my mother.
“The guy took a real interest in loaning me money when it came up that I was your mother,” she explained, her eyes meeting mine only briefly. I thought I caught a flicker of shame, but it could have been a case of seeing what I wanted to see. “After he learned that, he practically shoved the money at us,” she snorted. “Kept talking about the Knights’ whore, whatever that means.”
I winced at the ugly name and felt Sal’s energy tense behind me.
My mother continued on, unaware of the bomb she’d just delivered. “He seemed to think you’d have no problem helping me out if I got in a tight squeeze. So, I figure you must be doin’ all right,” she added, as though that made it okay she’d put me in this position. “Either that or your man here is,” she added, motioning to Sal.
I stood there and stared at her, unable to conjure a response.
“Who was this asshole?” Sal demanded.
She shrugged. “I don’t remember his name.”
Not surprising since she could barely remember mine.
“So are you gonna give me some money, girl? That fuckwad is still out for us and I’ve got nothing for him. I came all this way because you’re not taking my calls.”
I was completely dumbfounded. The woman had no sense of remorse and a questionable understanding of reality.
“She isn’t giving you shit. Get the fuck off her doorstep,” Sal growled in barely restrained anger. “And woman, you are done treating your daughter as collateral. You’ve done a good job of turning your own life to shit, but I can guarantee you I can make it worse.”
“Such a gentleman you’ve chosen for yourself, Katherine,” Ma scoffed.
“He’s the best,” I replied with utter sincerity.
“You were just leaving,” Sal bit out, taking my hand and pulling me toward my building.
“Can I at least get a few bucks for a pack of smokes!” she hollered as we went through the door.
“Fuck me,” Sal swore. Neither one of us turned around as the door closed behind us.
Sheer humiliation washed over me as we walked into my place. To have Sal witness the scene downstairs was nearly more than I could handle. I’d kept most of the details of my childhood to myself over the years, even from Scarlet, for a reason. I never saw a need to reveal how ugly it had all been. But now it was out in the open for him to see, and I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself.
He was pacing my small space and pulling his fingers roughly through his hair. I didn’t know what was bothering him more, the train wreck that was my mother or the connection between my attack and the loan my ma had been given.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket as I sat on the couch watching him wearily. “Wes, need you at Kat’s place, man. Yeah, thanks.”
My heart sank. I could practically feel his desperation to get away. This situation required something Sal and I had never shared, vulnerability. It was about raw emotion and dark history. And I knew Sal didn’t have a clue what to do with me. So, he was going to run and I was going to let him. This is what we did, any time things got complicated or heavy, he ran. I had to admit, I wanted him to run rather than have to dig into what I’d buried deep.
Shit, we were so fucked up.
“Gotta go, babe. Wes is on his way,” he informed me as though a monumentally upsetting event hadn’t just occurred.
“Yep,” I murmured, my tone defeated. I was unsurprised and unable to meet his eye. I should have been angry, but I couldn’t muster up another emotion with so many already clouding my head.
“I…fuck, Kat,” he muttered, scrubbing his hand over the scruff if his jaw.
“Just go, Sal.”
I could feel his penetrating eyes on me as I turned my back on him and headed for the bathroom. I winced slightly as I heard the front door click shut.
It wasn’t long before a knock sounded at my door. Somehow. I knew she’d come, she always did when I needed her most.