I bite my lip. This is bad. This is so terribly bad. I’ll have to hold out though. Convince him he doesn’t want to be connected to me. In one fluid motion I sit, jerking James a step forward.
He relents and kneels beside me. “So, what’s your plan? We’re just going to sit here?”
“Better thanyourplan. You really think you could persuade your father I’m a silver-crafter?”
His dark eyes hook into mine, trying to pierce my resolve. “You’re notjusta silver-crafter…”
My breath hitches.
“You’re the best silver-crafter I’ve ever seen,” he finishes.
I laugh out my relief. “You have no proof.”
When his eyes flicker to his arm, I notice his cast cracked down the middle, splintering multiple get-well messages. He truly tried to save me from Bex. His warning call did, but he also tried. And this is an important detail I didn’t realize until now—he attempted to do it without killing her.
James lets out a frustrated sigh. “Walsh, you know what this could meanfor your family, the sanctuary. With your skill you could have any career. Revers Academy would accept you in a minute. Any future. Yours.”
He’s dreaming. I live in reality. A reality where protecting something matters more than my own ambitions. “Why do you care? Another silver family means competition.”
“It means more than competition.” There is something in his eyes when he stares at me. I’d expect confusion, but that’s been replaced with determination and… longing? I don’t know where that came from or how his hard features arranged in this new configuration. But for the first time I’m seeing James Murphy soften.
When he leans forward, my mouth parts in a gasp. The closeness reminds me all too much of him drowning. Of me breathing for him, lips pressed to lips. For a second, I imagine that’s what he means to do. And I haven’t pulled away.
Then his eyes widen. “We’re too late. Cover your ears.” A low hollow vibration rumbles the ground. For a moment I forgot Hendrix, why we were walking. I can’t ignore that sound now though, pain enriched with agony.
James crafts the cuffs off our wrists and crumples the metal like paper. Then he throws the silver across the floor with a clang and he pulls me toward him, one ear pressed against his chest while his un-casted hand covers the other. “Just count,” he instructs. “Just think of anything else.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, not caring it’s James Murphy, that I’m crushed against him. Because Hendrix’s cries are worse. A second passes and I realize James isn’t covering his own ears, that he must hear… everything. So, I reach upward, until I find the side of his head and shield him from the terror of anguish quaking the loose stones around us. He startles just a fraction before bowing his head, letting me help drown out the torture.
We sit together like that. Me counting the rapid beat of James’s heart for what feels like a lifetime.
CHAPTER TENWHEN YOU HAVE YOUR SUSPICIONS
JAMES
We sit on the floor of the dragon stalls, an entangled mess of limbs. My heart feels like it’s going to explode out of my chest. I’ve never been physically closer to anyone in my life, and it’s Farren Walsh. I’m hugging Farren Walsh as we try not to listen to the sounds that accompany most, if not all, of my nightmares.
Never before has anyone covered my ears except me. In fact, never have I been able to focus on any other sense than hearing. Breathing in some kind of flower smell? Unheard of. Feeling the warm comfort of contact? Impossible. Even inside my own head I don’t need to count endlessly to escape the noise.
I’m still consumed with what I’ve learned.
One minute I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Farren is a silver-crafter. An advanced silver-crafter, able to control a Sprinter midair. I don’t need to cut her out of my life because society says so, because that might jeopardize Hort’s and my future. In fact, Farren and I being together would be more than accepted. Until right before we were born, it was illegal to marryoutside your metal. Now, if she claimed her crafting, it would somewhat be expected. Powerful silver families arrange couples even in this day and age.
But then moments after learning the best news of my life, she’s lying to my face, trying to make me doubt what I felt. And I cuffed us together like that was going to help. I just… don’t understand. I really don’t understand.
Twenty minutes pass before Hendrix goes quiet. Slowly, I unravel myself from Farren as she does the same. Then I sit back and move away, creating a breath of space.
Farren inhales and exhales audibly. “It was even worse than I imagined.”
“It always is,” I whisper.
She jerks, grasping what I mean. There’s a reason I know what spot on these grounds is the most soundproof. I’ve had my whole life to find it. And recently when my father demanded I learn the process of descaling from professionals like Art Whimbley. When he thought Hort old enough for his first shedding…
I fight the memory, twisting out of its clutches.
“I’m sorry I got distracted. I should have gotten us to a better place,” I apologize to my knees.
“Sure you weren’t just trying to find an excuse to hug me?” she asks.