“That’s very kind of you. I shall hold such a trip over their heads to see that they do their studies.” She made her threat with such delicious anticipation that Neal had to laugh, but then he sobered.
“What happened to their father?” he asked, knowing he might be treading on dangerous ground. One thing hadn’t changed over the years about Thea—her pride.
“He passed away almost four years ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
She gave a small lift of her shoulders, a dismissive gesture, and brushed a curl back from Christopher’s forehead.
“I’m certain the boys miss him,” Neal heard himself say. He wanted more information.
“Yes” was her noncommittal reply. There was a beat of silence between them, and then she added, “It is hard to raise boys without a father. I wantJonathan to attend Westminster School. I believe it will be good for him.”
“It would. That is an excellent school.”
She nodded and bent to place a light, loving kiss on her oldest’s forehead. “Now that you have hired me, I shall be able to pay his fees, provided he is admitted. His interview for acceptance is next month.”
“I’m certain he will do well.”
“He is bright.” There was a hesitation in her voice.
“What is it? What concerns you?”
She stroked Christopher’s head again before saying, “I don’t have any doubts about my sons. They are strong and bold, and I will never regret having them. But I sometimes wish I had been wiser . ... for their sakes.” She met Neal’s gaze. “In my own impulsiveness, my own desire to live by my terms and in flouting all conventions of society, I may have harmed my babies, and I never meant to do so.”
“I’m certain this is not true,” he started.
She smiled, the expression bittersweet. “You are obviously a person who has no regrets, my lord.”
“Actually, I have too many.”
Her gaze slid away from him. “But none thathas harmed those who are innocent. I’ve robbed them of so much.”
“Or will they be stronger because not everything has been handed to them? Westminster is not the only school in England, and just because your father disinherited you doesn’t mean you aren’t of good family. After all, you have been building a quiet little business based on those who have not forgotten your lineage or connections. Listening to Sir James rave about what you did for his nephew, I would say you are building a reputation on your successes more than your history.”
“I want more than this for my sons.”
He leaned forward. “We live in a new age, Thea. Any man with discipline and intelligence can make his own way in the world.”
“I’m out in the world, my lord. Things have not changed as much as you imagine. One misstep and Sir James would forget he knew me.”
Before Neal could answer, the coach reached their destination. The vehicle leaned as Bonner jumped down.
Neal touched her arm. “None of us are perfect, Thea. You made choices,honestchoices. Don’t apologize for them,” he managed to say before Bonner opened the coach door.
It was a small matter to carry two exhausted boys. Neal held one in each arm. In fact, their weight felt good.
Thea hovered anxiously. “Please let me carry Christopher, my lord.”
“I’m fine,” Neal said. “I may not be as dashing as my brother, but I’m good for some things. Catch the door for us.”
She hurried to do as bid. The building’s stairs creaked as Neal climbed them. Inside her apartment, he laid both Christopher and Jonathan on the pallet that served as their bed. “I wish my conscience was so clear I could sleep so deeply,” he said.
“They always look like angels when they sleep,” she murmured. She left the bedroom and he followed. She went over to stand by the still open door.
He hesitated.
“Thank you, my lord, for a wonderful evening. Neither the boys nor I will forget it for a long time.”