“You’re right,” she conceded quickly, and her not getting an attitude or disagreeing with me only pissed me off more. I realized in that moment I’d likely be fighting myself, and that was never fun. “I knew if I told you what I planned to do, you’d be against it.”
“Yeah, because there was a chance Iman would have still tried to kidnap you to get to me or worse. What if he decided you weren’t worth the hassle anymore and killed you because of what you knew? What if he’d already found someone else to workwith? What if you were walking right into a trap, and I would have had no way to find you?”
“I’m sorry, babe, but that was a risk I was willing to take. Not just to be able to be here but for you as well. You were going crazy being in the house and?—”
“Nah, don’t give me that bullshit,” I said after sucking my teeth. “I was more than willing to wait if it meant keeping you safe. Don’t put your choice on me.”
“Regardless of how you feel about it, you were a part of my reasoning as well, Marz. I did want to return to my life, but I wanted that for you too. More than anything, I wanted to be here with my granny.” She paused as her eyes watered. She licked the corner of her mouth and swallowed, and I knew she was holding back her tears. “My granddaddy died while I was in Nashville for college. I convinced myself he’d be okay until that weekend when I was done with exams, but that wasn’t the case. He died before I had the chance to say goodbye, and you know what hurt even worse? The fact that he asked about me every day while he was in the hospital, and they kept telling him I’d be there soon. H-he tried to wait for me, but he couldn’t.” After wiping a tear away, she repeated, “I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye.”
As upset as I wanted to be, that shit broke my heart a little. Taking her into my arms, I pulled her into my chest.
“I refused to let that happen with Granny. If that puts static between us and upset you, I’m sorry. But you know how important family is to me. It’s just as important to you. Can you stand here and say you wouldn’t have done anything you could if the roles were reversed?”
“Of course I would have done anything I could, just like I was doing what I could to get you here safely. Why didn’t you trust me enough to make that happen?”
“It wasn’t about trust,” she stressed quietly, squeezing my arms. “It was about time. Time that I wasn’t sure I’d have. I wasgoing to go crazy until I got up here with her, and if she died, I didn’t want to associate her death with being there with you for the rest of my life.”
“So you would’ve resented me for that? Because I made you wait?” I clarified.
“I wouldn’t have wanted to. Logically I would’ve known it wasn’t your fault, but who knows what my heart would do. That wasn’t something I was willing to risk, babe. I was too triggered and not thinking clearly. I do apologize for the way I left but not for leaving. I’m here, Iman is handled, and everything worked out okay.”
Releasing her, I bobbed my head and took a step back.
“I’m glad you’re here with your people, and I’ll be praying for your grandma.”
“What about us?” she asked softly, twiddling her thumbs, pleading with me, for me, with her eyes.
My head shook as I looked into the room and took another step back. “I respect the choice you made, but I can’t be with a woman who doesn’t trust my lead. I get you doing what you feel like you had to do, and I’m truly grateful everything worked out. Maybe it’s my ego, but what you did… that shit gutted me, Heir. Made me feel like we can’t be true partners. I love what Pops and Mama Neo and my aunts and uncles have, and the foundation of that is their partnership. Their trust. Their loyalty. Their communication. If we ain’t got that, we ain’t got shit.”
Her head nodded as sadness covered her beautiful face. “I understand,” she mumbled. Smiling softly, she looked away as she added, “I messed it up again huh?”
Mirroring her smile, I cupped her chin and turned her face back in my direction. “Not at all, bae. You did what was best for you, and I’ll forever respect that. Maybe we’ll find our way back to each other a third time. For now… I think we just… need space.”
Her jaw clenched as she nodded then gently removed my hand. “Goodbye, Marz. Thanks again for everything.”
“You’re welcome,” I said as she quickly retreated back into the room.
I was at peace that things had been resolved, but I didn’t like that she was back in Iman and Jay’s orbit, and I for damn sure didn’t like the fact that she was no longer with me.
Chapter
Eighteen
Heir
Ironically,the second day Granny was in the hospital, she was released. Her body had broken down some, her kidneys were failing, and they wanted her to go to rehab. The fall had done more damage than we realized initially, and since she’d have to be on oxygen, she wouldn’t be able to be at home alone. We’d come up with a schedule so that someone was always with her at the rehab facility because she didnotwant to be there. I felt so sad for her. She kept repeating that she wanted to go home, and it broke my heart. I was going to look into her insurance covering a home nurse because if she was too upset about rehab, I knew she wouldn’t put forth any real effort to get better. She was stubborn like that.
What was even worse was it seemed like Onesty and I were the only ones that had hope she’d make it out of this. Everyone else was preparing for the worst. I knew we had to be logical, but I wasn’t about to plan her funeral while there was still breath inher body. The whole thing was depressing to say the least, and I wanted to call Marz more than anything, but I decided against it.
Not only did I want to avoid telling him she was home already, but I didn’t feel right asking him to comfort me since we were technically done with each other. That was the craziest part. We were over before we really had a chance to get started. One day he was showing me rings, and the next, he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. I could understand and respect his boundaries and desire for how he wanted his relationship to be, so regardless of how much I wanted to reach out to him, I called Kayla instead to see if she wanted to go out tonight and grab a few drinks. I hoped that would be enough to give me some temporary relief.
Chapter
Nineteen
Marz
For the past week,I’d been overworking just to avoid thinking about Heir. While I was at the academy, I could block her out of my head and heart. The moment I made it home, thoughts of her plagued me. Tonight, I decided to stop by Pops and Mama Neo’s house before going home. I said it was because I wanted to check in on them and Ariel, but truthfully, I just didn’t want to go home and be alone with my thoughts. While I didn’t regret putting a boundary in place with Heir, I was starting to wonder if I should have let it be a lesson and remained in her life.