Marz ran his hand over his mouth before shoving his hands in his pockets. “Can I reach out to you when I get the results? If the baby isn’t mine, I’d like for us to try again.”
I smiled as a tear finally fell. My head shook as I opened the door again, and again, he closed it.
“Maybe this is a sign that we’re just not meant to be together, babe. Love isn’t supposed to be hard.”
“I’m unwilling to accept that,” he muttered, pulling me into his arms. “Love between us isn’t hard. We were put in a difficult situation with Iman and handled it the best way we could. I should have told you not listening to me and trusting my lead was a boundary of mine and you crossing it made me feel disrespected. On top of that, I was scared out of my fucking mind thinking they were going to do something to you, and that fear and hurt came out as anger.
“I should have been more understanding of your situation and worked with you instead of trying to do it my way. It wasn’t my place to control you in that moment, even if it was to keep you safe. I said I wanted more for my partnership, but I could have been a more understanding partner in that moment as well.”
My head lowered before I buried it in his chest. This was what I wanted… but not like this. Not after finding out he might have a damn baby on the way. Marz kissed my cheek and held me tighter.
“And like you said, this happened before you, but now that I have you, I ain’t trying to let you go. We had a disagreement over the Iman shit, and I can get over that if you can. Just tell me I can come after you if this baby isn’t mine, and I swear to God I will.”
I heard everything he was saying, but my heart was still hurting over the idea of him having a baby with someone else. What if I waited around hopeful just to find out the baby was his? I’d be disappointed all over again. Releasing a shaky breath, I took his hands into mine.
“How long before you take the paternity test, Marz? Because I can’t spend months wondering and waiting and hoping just to be let down.”
“I’ll get it set up with her ASAP. It won’t be long. I promise. As soon as I know it’s safe for her to get the test done, we will.”
Nodding, I wiped my face and stepped to the side so he could open my door. When he did, I got inside, but I didn’t start the car.
“I can’t say I’m going to wait for you, because if you’re the father, I’ll be disappointed. So I’ll say I have no desire to be with another man, and if on the off chance you find out you’re not about to be a father in the next couple of months or so?—”
“You’re mine.”
My heart squeezed as I started my car. This wasn’t how I saw the night ending, but at least Marz and I got closure on the Iman situation. We were on the same page with that, and I could accept that being our first disagreement. What I wouldn’t be able to accept was dating a man with a newborn baby. When he closed my door and walked away, I decided I’d live my life and not worry about the outcome. If we were meant to be, we’d find our way back to each other… again.
Chapter
Twenty-One
Marz
Two weeks had passedsince the last time I’d seen my baby. I was missing her like crazy. It was June, the weather had finally started to feel like summer, and we were supposed to be having the time of our lives. Instead, I was waiting for Kiana to agree to a paternity test that would determine the course of my life for the next twenty something years.
A part of me hadn’t completely accepted the fact that I might have a baby on the way. Not just because it was with Kiana but also because I didn’t want children no time soon. I was thirty-three-years-old, and even though that was considered a good age to start a family, I didn’t even have my wife yet. Before we started bringing kids into the world, it had always been my desire to spend at least five years living life, spoiling my wife, and traveling the world with her. Kids were a monumental responsibility that led to major life changes, and though I wanted to experience that eventually, I wanted it to happen later in life.
I still hadn’t done the things I wanted to do with my life, and there was no doubt in my mind my baby would become the center of my world the moment I held them in my arms. The shit felt premature, and though I understood it was my fault for having sex with her, I still hadn’t been able to wrap my mind around what was happening.
Me, Pops, and Neptune were playing golf. Well, we were drinking, listening to music, and riding around in our golf cart. I couldn’t tell you the first thing about how to actually play the game. Pops had secured membership to this black and bougie ass country club several years ago. Until we became legal, Neptune and I only came for family days and events. They used to be so boring, and I never understood the appeal of the club until I turned twenty-one. Then… the real fun began. Now, I loved going as much as I could, and it was even better because I was still on his membership, so I didn’t have to pay.
By the time I was on my fourth shot, I told Pops, “Kiana is pregnant, and there’s a chance I’m the father.”
Even with the shades covering his eyes, I saw his furrowed brows and frown as he looked at me. He scratched his cheek and took a swig of his beer. He was at that age now where after two shots, he drank nothing but beer, unless it was a holiday or celebration. Pops lifted his shades and gripped my shoulder.
“You and Kiana finally decided to get together?”
Chuckling, I kept my eyes on Neptune as he recorded a video several feet away with his golf club. No one else knew about the baby besides Heir. I hadn’t even told my friends.
“Not at all. You know I want my wife back.”
“I… thought that was the plan. So I guess I’m not understanding how you ended up getting Kiana pregnant.”
Sitting back in the cart, I shook my head and looked toward the sky. “It definitely wasn’t the plan. You remember when I took her out of town after she broke up with Daniel that last time?”Pops nodded. “It happened then. She was on some rebound shit wanting to feel better I suppose, and I couldn’t reject her. We left with the understanding that it would never happen again and we’d be just friends. Fast forward three months later, and she’s telling me she’s pregnant and she doesn’t know if the baby is mine or Daniel’s.”
A low whistle escaped Pops as he stretched his leg out and set his beer down. “Damn. What are you hoping for? I know you wanted to wait until you’d been married for a few years to have your children.”
“And not only that, but it’s Kiana. I can’t have no baby with her. Shit is all fucked up, and I don’t know what to do. She keeps putting off having the test, and I can’t release Heir or go forth with my permanent pursuit of her until I know if this baby is mine or not.”