"And we keep fighting. However long it takes."
"However long it takes," I agree.
We leave far too early because neither of us can sit at home any longer. Harper is with Emma, who drove up last night, and Diane, who came with her. Our house is full of people who love us, who will celebrate or grieve depending on what comes at two o'clock.
Tyler drives with one hand. His other hand holds mine on the console and doesn't let go.
We arrive at one forty-five and go straight to the courtroom. Ms. Chen is already there, composed in the way of someone who has done this many times and still feels the weight of it.
"How are you?" she asks.
"Terrified," Tyler says.
"That's the right answer." She looks between us. "Whatever the decision is, stay calm. We may not get everything we asked for. Family court rulings are rarely clean. If something is unfavorable, we appeal. If something is favorable but conditional, we work on the conditions. Either way, you don't react in the courtroom. Understand?"
We nod. The ‘if something is unfavorable’ lands on me with weight. I'd been telling myself we'd get the clean win. Ms. Chen has been telling us for weeks that the win wouldn't be clean.
Jessica arrives with her lawyer at one fifty-eight. She looks worse than she did at trial, thinner, darker under the eyes. She doesn't look at us.
At 2:03 p.m., Judge Morrison enters.
We stand.
My heart is hammering in my throat. Tyler's hand around mine is almost painful. I hold on.
Judge Morrison sits. Arranges her papers. Looks up.
"I've reviewed all the evidence and testimony in this matter carefully," she begins. "The law is clear that the child's best interest must be the primary consideration in any custody determination."
Get there. Please just get there.
"This case has been more difficult than many before me. Both parties have presented credible cases for some level of involvement in this child's life. Ms. Torres has demonstrated meaningful efforts toward recovery and has the legal status of a biological mother whose rights have not been previously terminated. Mr. West has demonstrated, over almost eight months, sustained, capable, and loving care for this child as her sole caregiver."
I can't breathe.
"My ruling reflects both of those realities."
She pauses.
"The court awards Mr. Tyler West full physical and legal custody of Harper Rose West, effective immediately."
Tyler's grip on my hand tightens to the point of pain.
"Ms. Torres retains her parental rights. They are not being terminated by this court at this time. However, given recent concerns regarding Ms. Torres's stability, sobriety, and housing, the court is restricting Ms. Torres's contact with the child to supervised visitation only, contingent upon the following conditions: six consecutive months of negative drug screenings administered by an approved third party. Stable employment for the sameperiod. Stable, lease-documented housing for the same period. The first review of these conditions will occur six months from today's date. If Ms. Torres demonstrates sustained compliance, the court will revisit visitation parameters at that time. If she does not, this arrangement remains in place indefinitely, and the matter may be reviewed annually. Ms. Torres has no entitlement to contact with the minor child outside of formally scheduled, supervised visits, and Mr. West retains the right to seek further protective measures should Ms. Torres attempt unsupervised contact."
She sets down the paper.
"Are there any questions, counsel?"
"No, Your Honor," Ms. Chen says.
Jessica's lawyer says something I don't hear. I'm trying to absorb what just happened. Tyler is also. Beside me, he's gone completely still, his hand still crushing mine.
"Then this matter is concluded for today. Court adjourned."
The gavel comes down at two seventeen in the afternoon.
I look at Tyler.