“Okay. I didn’t think so, but I had to be sure.” Solan reached across the couch and placed a warm, friendly hand atop Ji-Su’s. “Before Cedric’s death, did you want to be with Raul romantically?”
Ji-Su nodded. “I still have about five months left on my contract. But Raul already asked me to stay. If he’d asked me before all this happened my answer would have been yes.”
“And do you want to be with him now?”
This time Ji-Su only nodded. He did want to be with Raul, but his confused turmoil was holding him back.
Solan scooted closer to him on the couch.
“Then you have to decide if you can handle living in this world where violence is the norm. You would be like me, aware but uninvolved. And you would have to accept that if someone were to fuck with you again to the point where your life is in danger, Raulwillput them down. I know Raul wants to be with you, but he will understand if you can’t accept that. He won’t force you to stay with him if you decide this life is too much for you.”
“I know he wouldn’t.”
“See? You do have a little faith in him,” Solan said with a teasing smile. “And don’t hate me for saying this, but I think you know that if you didn’t want to be with Raul, you’d already be out of here.”
Solan was right. He would have left for good by now if he knew with one hundred percent certainty that he couldn’t be with Raul after he killed Cedric.
“Let’s get to the true center of this conversation. You want to know how I’m able to be with Everett when I know that he haskilled and will kill again so that you can get to that same place in order to be with Raul.”
Ji-Su let out a breath as he realized that was exactly what he wanted. “Yes.”
“Okay, then. Here’s my answer. It might sound cynical, but it’s the truth. The world is dangerous. And I like having someone on my side who will do whatever is necessary to keep me safe. I love Everett. And I’m willing to ignore the violence in his business life, because I know he will use that same violence to protect me when he has to.”
While Ji-Su was processing that statement, a knock came at the door. Still thinking, he got up to go and answer it. Another guard was standing there, with a gift-wrapped box carefully held in both hands.
“This is for you, Mr. Ji-Su,” she said.
Ji-Su thanked her and accepted the package. It was a large, rectangular box wrapped in pale, canary yellow paper. Gossamer white ribbons were tied around the box in a frothy bow.
A knowing grin curled Solan’s lips when he caught sight of the box. “I can guess who that’s from.” He rose from the couch. “That is definitely a woo you back gift, so I’ll go and let you open it in private. If you need anything else give me a call.”
Ji-Su set the box aside to hug Solan goodbye. “Thank you for coming by to talk with me about all this. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you later.”
Solan left, leaving Ji-Su alone again. He took the prettily wrapped gift to the couch to sit down and open it. After slowly untying the ribbons, he carefully removed the wrapping paper and lifted the top off the box. Inside, a thick stationary card with a note written in bold, clean cursive lay atop layers of white tissue paper. Ji-Su picked up the card to read it.
I know those hotel rooms are always freezing. So, I thought you might like this to keep you warm while gaming.
—Raul
Ji-Su parted the tissue paper to reveal a folded bundle of yellow fleece. He pulled the bundle from the box and shook it out. It was one of those oversized, blanket hoodies.
Ji-Su smiled and buried his face in the soft material. Raul was always taking care of him in the most thoughtful ways. The hotel roomwaschilly so he put the hood on. The fleece instantly warmed him, but he couldn’t help but wish that it was Raul’s strong arms wrapped around him keeping him warm instead.
Chapter 46
On his fourth night at the hotel, Ji-Su stood at the window, looking out over the city. Scattered droplets of rain slid down the glass. Out in the distance, storm clouds were building, silent flashes of lightning in their center illuminating them against the night sky.
Raul had given him his space, allowing him to think on his own. He didn’t call or try to see him, but whenever a new guard arrived for their shift, they carried a message from Raul asking if he was okay and if he needed anything. They also reminded him that he could call Raul at any time. He hadn’t wanted to make that call. Until now.
He’d gone ‘round and ‘round in his head trying to decide what to do. Finally, he realized he couldn’t make his decision without talking to Raul. He pulled out his phone and sat on the edge of the bed to make the call. Raul answered so quickly he must have had his phone in his hand.
“Ji-Su. Is everything alright?”
“Yes. I wanted to talk if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is.”