I have to tell him.
This must end. Whether or not he wants me, he’ll need to understand his parents will never accept me. So that kiss, the sex…it’s a fantasy world that ends when the bubble of this vacation pops.
The thought scoops out my insides and buries them in the sand outside, but he’s aWestwood. How can I compete with that?
Me
That’s okay. I’m pretty tired anyway. It was a long day.
Lunar_Warden
Sleep tight. Envision me beside you, then imagine me licking that pretty little pussy of yours until you scream my name so the whole resort can hear. Goodnight, Summer.
I rest the phone on my chest, screen down as the dark room fills me with dread.
Levi might be watching the cabana, but even he can’t keep away the memories.
For the next day and a half, everyone is on edge.
For all his words, Levi full-on ignores me. My texts get one or two responses. He’s frequently gone, though somehow, he’s always around too. If he can’t be near me, he all but forces me by the main pool or in restaurants, where his staff not-so-subtly watches me and reports to him. It’s annoying, since hiding beneath my blankets, inside the cabana with the blinds shut, would be preferable.
Experiencing a vacation is impossible when my skin is constantly electrocuted. It feels like I’ve lost Levi, although the unselfish parts of me understand he’s doing thisforme.
Neither of us mention the kiss, which is telling. He regrets it. We fell into the trap plenty of male-female friendships do when they test things. We tried, it failed, it fell apart by an action that shouldn’t have happened.
The fact lessens my feelings about it.
I still have Hunter until the end of vacation, and that’ll have to end too. Levi can’t have parts of me when he wants me—as different people, though it’s the meagre I’d accept. Still, hecan’t. This doesn’t have a happy ending for us.
If he regrets the kiss, then surely, he regrets everything else? Maybe he’s taking the character of Hunter way too seriously.
I spend the majority of my day convincing myself everything is fine while watching the buildings, searching for signs of Levi and my father.
After Levi’s text that instructs me to go ahead for supper alone, I return to my cabana. Pausing on the porch, I study his, which is noticeably dark. What would he think if he found me passed out in bed, swathed in his scent?
Probably not my best idea, given everything.
My feet instead take me back to the sand and beach. The seagulls above head squawk, begging me to follow. Maybe if I keep walking, I’ll outpace the troubled emotions, but the mounting dread of being alone in the dark, in the open, where Dad can easily stumble upon me, sends me racing through my cabana’s front door. At least here, there’s a lock to keep him out.
After checking the backdoor, then the main one again, ensuring both are sealed, I flip the blinds shut and head into the bathroom. There, I shut the door, pressing my back against it until my breath evens out.
Ihaveto trust Levi and the police will find him, but the fact that he’s in the resort somewhere and they haven’t makes little sense. How many places are there for a person to hide?
Stripping out of my dress, I twist the shower knobs until the room’s air conditioner is countered by the blistering steam of the shower before stepping beneath the water. It pounds heavy on my hair, drenching me until I fall to my knees and lose myself to my thoughts.
My nails imbed into my old scars as my gaze flits to my razor resting on the side of the tub. If I bleed, the fear of my father bleeds with it. In here, both will slide down the drain, never to be seen again. It’d be so easy, though Levi would be disappointed.
He isn’t here.
He’ll come back and see the fresh lines. He’ll know.
He’d have to pay attention for longer than thirty seconds.
My hands press into my temples, trying to push the voice out. It’s toxic, turning me against Levi and even myself. It can’t win.
My nails dig harder, tracing one of my oldest scars. It’s always been here for me when no one else was and deserves a friend.
I reach for the razor, fingers wrapping the handle to separate the two. It’s been a while since I’ve done this. Too long…