Yeah, I went there.
SIX
SUMMER
“L-Levi?”
He’s recommendinghimself?
For a moment, both our lies nearly come crashing down. I don’t know how to respond to this—how to continue faking my obliviousness. Levi is recommending I have no-holds-barred rough sex with him…but since I’m talking about this toHunter, it means facing the real him.
It means going through with it.
My mouth is dry while I try to come up with every reason Hunter would recommend this. Does it mean he as Levi is interested in me, or is this coming from a friendly place? No-strings-attached sex between two best friends that will never get mentioned again?
What would the consequences on my body be, fucking someone I’m around all the time? Usinghishands to cover my father’s touch.
“Summer?” he prompts, reminding me to answer. Either to blow up the entire game or keep pretending to be unaware of his real identity, which means responding how he’d expect.
“No, I couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t—our friendship doesn’t go that far. He’d see how messed up I am, all my imperfections. I need to find someone random. Someone who won’t judge me.”
I wince, envisioning his expression.
But a tighter wince has me envisioning Levi as I stumble through asking this of him,despiteit being his recommendation. How does one even ask something like this?
“You need someone you trust. This won’t work with a stranger. It’ll feel too real, too much like your father, which would make it pointless.”
He’s not wrong.
What he’s offering…what if it messes everything up?
“Maybe I will,” I tell him, since it seems to be the only way out of this conversation that has me ready to look up nearby therapists. Clearly, replacing one experience with another isn’t happening…
A moment passes before Hunter exhales. “Why do I feel you won’t?”
“Because you know me well.”
In every aspect of my life.
So well, an idea fills the corners of my mind. I trust him both as Levi and Hunter, but it’s Hunter I have a deeper connection with. It’s that anonymity factor. It’s Hunter I called, not Levi. It’s Hunter who’d do this without fear of hurting me. It’s Hunter I admitted my fantasies to a few months ago.
Not Levi. It’s never been Levi—even though it is. I’m only comfortable with havingthatkind of connection and conversation with Hunter because heisLevi.
“Hunter…would you?”
Silence rings—the world ending, absolute pin-drop kind.
“Do you know what you’re asking?” His voice takes on an edge, the same as when he learned why I ran to his house the night of my father’s attack. “We’ve never met, so you have noidea what I look like. Are you willing to unlock your doors and let an online stranger into your life, then your bed? Do you realize the safety concerns?”
You’re not a stranger.“You don’t think we’re equally in danger? You have no idea who I really am or what I look like. Are you willing to come to a stranger’s place?”
It’s almost a dare—a test to see how Levi will respond. A fear he’ll end his time as Hunter right when I need him.
“I know what you look like.”
Is this when he admits his true identity? “What?”
“I know who you are, Summer. We attend the same university. A few months ago, you were in the library, and I noticed my gaming tag on your phone. So, to answer your question, I know exactly how gorgeous you are, and yeah, I’d do this with you. But knowing what you look like doesn’t makeyouin any less danger.”