They all just stare at me, as if they’re waiting for the question.
“That’snormal?”
“Yeah, our guys are dangerous, and they piss off other dangerous people pretty much on the daily,” Lulu says. “Made men are always looking for their enemy’s weakness.Weare their biggest weakness because they love us. So we have to have guards to make sure we’re safe.”
“That’s pretty much what he told me.”
“You get used to them,” Natasha informs me. “I’m friends with mine now. It helps to always have the same guys with you because you learn each other’s little quirks and it becomes second nature.”
“Sure. Leaving the house? Grab my keys, my handbag, my guards ...” I wrinkle my nose and the others laugh.
“That’s pretty much it,” Scarlett says with a nod.
“Here’s the other thing.” They lean in, listening. “Mateo told me that if I wanted, I could open my own tattoo studio rather than continue to work where I do. That he’d get me space at Carson’s resort, or pretty much wherever. And I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of him. Because that soundsamazing, but this is really new, and ... I don’t know.”
“Our guys move fast,” Natasha says. “When they make up their minds, there’s no talking them out of it.”
“Rome had me living here within days of meeting him,” Lulu adds. “He was obsessed from day one, and it’s only grown with time.”
“I worry that it’s new and fun and exciting now but he’ll grow tired of me, and then I’ll be left with no business, no home, no man.”
“No, not happening,” Natasha says.
“I’ve known Mateo for a while,” Scarlett adds. “And I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. Not to mention, these guys aren’t soft, Violet. They don’t give out of the goodness of their hearts. They don’t flirt with random people, they don’tsmileat random people. They’re made men, and they’re fucking scary.”
I blink, thinking back. “I’ve only seen him scary in the cage,” I realize. “I mean, he was terrifying last night when he was killing those traffickers, and sometimes his voice is hard when he’s talking to his men, but he only ever speaks to me, touches me, looks at me with ... I don’t know the word.”
“We get it,” Lulu assures me. “Because our men are the same. Mateo would disembowel himself before heeverlet you be harmed or hurt you by his own hands. But every single other person in the world who isn’t part of this family? They’re not so lucky.”
“And if this isn’t for you,” Scarlett puts in. “If this life isn’t what you want, just be honest now. Not that Mateo would let you go without a fight, but he also won’t make you stay somewhere that you’re miserable.”
Lulu passes me a fresh bag of frozen peas, and I trade her for the warmer one so she can put it back in the freezer.
“I can’t imagine leaving him,” I confess. “The thought of not having him in my life makes my chest ache.”
“There’s your answer.” Natasha smiles at me. “So, what are you going to do about the tattoo shop?”
“Well, if I take him up on it, I want to change things up. Since I’m with this guy, who I suspect is quite wealthy?—”
“You have no idea,” Lulu says, raising an eyebrow.
“—and I’m not a gold digger. But, if I don’t need the income, I think I want to offer my art to women who’ve had trauma and want the ink to feel stronger. Maybe that’s breast cancer survivors or trafficking survivors.”
“Women with domestic violence scars,” Natasha suggests. “I have several, actually, and would love to have them covered.”
I stare at my new friend. “Who the fuck hurt you?”
“My dad,” she says with a sad smile. “But Julian killed him.”
“Good.”
Scarlett laughs. “Yeah, you’re going to fit in just fine, Violet.”
Twenty-Three
MATEO
“Damien hasn’t claimed that this mess is his,” Julian says. “And there’s been no fucking chatter on this asshole. He goes so deep underground that he’s untouchable, and it pisses me the fuck off.”