Because Julian wasn’t Malik. He wasn’t careless or cruel or distracted. He paid attention. He was kind. He showed up. He was consistent. Not just for me, for Micah too. And that scared me. Because if I let myself believe Julian’s kindness meant something more than friendship, if I let myself think he looked at me the way I sometimes caught myself looking at him… and I was wrong?
One thing I’d already learned being in Lennox Falls was that Julian could have any woman he wanted. As annoying as my mother’s jadedadvice was, one thing she wasn’t wrong about is that Julian was a catch. Too much of one.
He didn’t need to settle for me.
The thought hit me, and then I corrected myself. That was Malik talking. The ghost of his betrayal still lingering like smoke I hadn’t fully aired out. Years later and sometimes I still had to remind myself: it wasn’t me. It was him. His choices. His lies. But some days, it was too easy to slip back into that insecure space he’d carved out in me.
I wasn’t that woman anymore. Moving here, finding my rhythm again, I could feel pieces of the old Alyssa returning. The one who was confident. Who walked into any room like she belonged. I used to know I wasthatgirl. I could feel her stretching awake inside me again, after too long asleep.
But Julian? He was in another stratosphere. That man lived like he’d been training his whole life for the majors while I was just stepping off the bench after an injury, trying to find my swing again. I wasn’t naïve enough to expect a home run on the first hit back.
So I stayed grounded and realistic. Grateful for the friendship we had. He was a good man. A good friend and good to my son.
And that would have to be enough.
Simone’s housesmelled like coffee and baby powder. Zaria was balanced on her hip, patting her shoulder in that absent toddler rhythm while Simone studied me over her mug.
“Your brother is driving me crazy.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “Which one?”
“The one who thinks he’s my personal problem-solver.”
“Julian.” She set down her mug, already smiling. “What’d he fix now?”
“First my condo. Which yes, I needed, but I didn’t ask. Then equipment for Micah that just ‘appeared.’ Then I found out he’d been making calls about possible jobs for me. Which… ok, I did end up getting my job from one of his connections. Now, he got my car fixed. Won’t let me pay him back.” I pressed my palms flat on her kitchen counter. “At first it pissed me off. I don’t need a savior. But now?” I shook my head. “Now I don’t know. Feels like he can’t help himself.”
Simone’s mouth curved slow. She shifted Zaria higher on her hip. “Hecan’thelp himself. That’s just Julian.”
I frowned. “Explain that.”
She studied me for a long moment, like she was debating how much to say. Then she sighed. “You know about our parents. Julian was nineteen then, and suddenly, he was the one taking care of three minors. Not to mention a music label that lost both its founders.”
I blinked.
“Uncle Reggie wanted Tre and Zion. Aunt Lorraine wanted me. They were ready to split us up. But Julian refused. Said we needed each other, in our family home. He made them believe he could hold us together. And then he did.”
I found myself holding my breath.
“Discipline. Routine. That’s how he survived. Howwesurvived. He finished school, kept working, made WadeHouse into what it is now. And when we cried? He let us cry on him. But him? Never saw him shed a tear. He shoved it down and just carried us on his back.”
“That’s his language,” she continued. “Taking care of family. Controlling what he can control. It’s how he cares.”
I thought about it for a moment. “But I’m not his sister, or?—”
“No.” Simone’s smile turned knowing. “Which is why this is interesting. I know my brother. He doesn’t let people in. He doesn’t let people close. And yet, when you showed up? He started making space. We all see it.”
I looked down, not sure how to respond to that.
“He won’t even run with Tre and Zion. Always says his runs are his sanctuary. Then you come along, and suddenly, he’s running beside you half the week like it’s nothing. That’s a choice. He likes you.”
I swallowed, shaking my head like I could shake off the awkwardness. “As a friend.”
“He doesn’t have female friends.”
“First time for everything.”
“Mmm-hmm.”