But when I go inside, I spot a box from Bites & Bliss Bakery on my kitchen counter. I untie the ribbon around the box and pop the lid open, and a laugh escapes me before I can even stop it.
There’s a cheesecake inside and scrawled across the top in black and red frosting are the words:Take another shower, you stink.
“Fucking Dilynne,” I mutter to myself as I grab a fork and eat half of the best cheesecake in existence, which honestly makes me feel even better than beating the shit out of that car.
***
One Month Later
“Easy does it, Grumpzilla.”
“Godzilla didn’t get left at the altar by his fiancée,” I say, followed by a hiccup.
“Thank you for that information. I wasn’t aware of that fact.”
I nod as Dilynne leads me up the walkway to my house—at least, I think it’s my house. My eyes are seeing double right now, so I can’t be entirely sure. In fact, I’m not even sure that I should trust this woman to actually drop me off at my house.
The alcohol said it was a good idea, but now I’m acutely aware that she might be leading me to some cabin in the woods, and my body might never be found.
Oh well. At least I’m drunk enough not to feel anything that she does to me.
“Did you know that you’re talking out loud?” Dilynne unlocks the door to the house. When I step inside, I run directly to my couch and faceplant into the cushions.
“Couch,” I drag out, muttering against the cushions beneath my face. Pressing a kiss to the fabric beneath me, I turn my face to find Dilynne staring down at me, shaking her head.
“Having a love affair with your couch now?”
“Yes. This couch has never let me down, unlikesomepeople.”
“No need to be evasive, Elliot. I think we both know who you’re talking about.” She moves down to my feet, untying my shoes and setting them by the door where I usually take them off. “I’m gonna get you some water and aspirin.”
“That sounds horrible. You should get me a beer instead.”
“I think you’ve had enough beer for the night,” she replies as she heads toward my kitchen.
“If you’re not going to get me a beer, then why the fuck are you here, Dilynne? I don’t need your help…”
And that’s the last thing I remember before the entire world turns black.
The next thing I know, piercing light shocks me from my sleep. When I pop one eye open, I see Dilynne sitting in the chair opposite the couch, scrolling on her phone. “Dilynne?”
“Good. You’re alive,” she says before standing and walking over to me.
I let out a groan as the pounding in my head begins. “What the hell are you doing here?” Reaching up, I pinch the bridge of my nose as the splitting headache grows exponentially.
“Yeah, you passed out before I could give you some aspirin to take the edge off. Sadly, I don’t think it would have helped with the amount of alcohol you consumed.”
“Good thing my drinking isn’t your problem, huh?”
“You’re right. Butyoubecame a problem last night and I’m the one who volunteered to deal with your grumpy ass. Lucky me,” she mutters.
I glare up at her. “What happened?”
Her brows lift. “You don’t remember?”
“No…”
“You got wasted at Fletcher’s going away party and volunteered to do a dirty dance for him. Your shirt was halfway off before Rhonan stepped in.”