The funny thing is, I can’t explain why this still matters to me so much. I started this routine of checking on him three months ago because Laney suggested it, but now, it’s become something I can’t ignore.
“Trust me, the last thing I want is another relationship,” Elliot mutters.
“You might feel that way right now, but who knows what the future holds.”
“The future holds more booze, that’s what I know.”
I glare at him. “Cut the shit, Elliot. You know drinking yourself stupid isn’t a long-term solution.”
“Good thing I don’t care about what you think of me or how I choose to live my life. I’m a grown man, remember?”
We stare at each other as I lean forward and brace my elbows on my thighs. “You know what? You’re right. Don’t worry about what I think, but what about the boys? What about your parents? Do you care what they think?”
He moves his eyes away from mine. “I’ve been getting enough shit from all of them. I don’t need you to add to it.”
I soften my voice. “They’re concerned, Elliot, and with good reason. What you’re doing isn’t healthy. And it isn’t you.”
He pushes a hand through his hair as tears fill his eyes, avoiding my gaze. “I’m fucking miserable, Dil. I hate my job right now, my fucking dad is…” He trails off, shaking his head. “And seeing Fletcher and Henley so happy now is just making it worse.”
My brother is dealing with his own demons at the moment while falling for his nanny, but I have faith that he can overcome the issues he’s been pushing down for years. Elodie is worth it, and every woman deserves a man who will fight to be better for her.
One day I hope to find that too—although I definitely didn’t feel that way after my breakup.
“I know you’re miserable, Elliot. But unfortunately, you’re the only one who can fix that.” I study him as he stares into the box of onion rings because I remember feeling powerless too at one point, but this isn’t about me. It’s about him. So I decide to shift to the second part of my plan. “Have you ever seen the movieForgetting Sarah Marshall?”
His brows draw together in confusion. “No…”
“Really?” Launching myself from my chair, I move toward my purse and take out the DVD, grateful that Elliot still has a player for this outdated technology. “Then we need to fix that.” I head toward his TV and turn on the system, programming the movie and then pressing play.
“Dilynne…”
“If you’re the type of person that talks during movies, Elliot, we’re going to have a serious problem.”
He sighs but takes my warning to heart. And then we sit there in silence, watching the movie until he passes out with the box of onion rings still on his lap.
Chapter 5
Elliot
Trying to Move On
Five Months After the Wedding
“I realized something after our last session,” I begin.
Dr. Harris encourages me to continue with a nod.
I lean forward, bracing my forearms on my knees, eyes fixed on the floor. “You mentioned last time that my ideas about love have a lot to do with how I’m feeling,” I say, working through the thought as it forms. “Well… I think I loved theideaof Tori more than I actually lovedher.”
The admission hangs there, and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
Dr. Harris scribbles something on his notepad, nodding again.“How so?”
Sighing, I lean back against the couch cushion, staring up at the ceiling. This is my third session with my therapist, and I am finally starting to feel some of the pain in my chest subsiding. “I wanted to believe in us so hard because I felt like I had to,” I continue. “I made the decision to get married and even told myself that everything would be perfect, so then when it didn’t feel that way, I didn’t listen to my gut. I kept telling myself that it would all work out because that’s what I wanted to happen.”
“You ignored your intuition.”
I nod. “Yeah.”