Finally, he puts me out of my misery and nods. "As long as we can maintain boundaries."
The football game picks up again, and I drag my eyes back to the game.
"I know how I feel about you, and about this. I respect your boundaries. You're in charge of this,” I add, wanting to reassure him.
He seems appeased and leans back against the couch, settling in.
"Do you miss it?" he asks, stealing my attention again.
"It?"
"Football."
I take a moment to remember the smell of the grass, the sweat, the dirt, pushing my body to its limit. The camaraderie of the locker room. The celebrity of being the head QB. In hindsight, being the head QB of a small high school that no one probably remembers feels like a shallow victory. At the time, it had seemed like the most important stage of my life.
Now, it seems so insignificant. Marrying Lindsey, holding her hand while she brought my kids into the world. Being forced to look at my mortality and addiction and reinventing myself as a man that I can be proud of. Those things matter so much more than throwing a pigskin to another man.
"I miss parts of it..." I share, before noticing his knees spread a little more, as he relaxes more. "But no. I wouldn't trade it for the life I have now."
I catch him nodding. This is the perfect opportunity to learn more about the man who has really owned my heart since we were teenagers. I want to know how he got started as an escort. How his family reacted to him coming out. Idon'twant to know about his other clients.
The doorbell rings.
This is the second time today someone's rung it, and unease slivers through me. I don't want to interrupt whatever delicate situation this is. He's freely giving me his time and attention, without a deposit or contract. It's new territory, and I'm afraid that if someone interrupts it, he'll use it as an excuse to leave. And I really don't want him to leave.
But, I stand and answer the door anyway, to see a frantic Lindsey and my kids.
"Linds?"
"I called you, but you didn't answer your phone."
I glance at where my phone is on my counter. On Do Not Disturb.
"Oh," she says when she sees Trey standing up from the couch. "I didn't know you had company..."
"It's okay. What's up?"
"I think I'm coming down with a UTI, and I thought the kids would rather hang out with you than wait at Urgent Care, but they'll be fine if you..."
"No, no, no. Of course. Are you okay? Do you need anything? Cranberry juice? A heating pad?" I ask quickly, hoping to help her as much as I can.
She ushers Micah and Lil inside, and I kiss each of their heads as they pass.
"Maybe later. What I really need is meds."
"I can keep them for the weekend for you? We can swap? I'm sure you're miserable."
She nods in agreement and then looks above me. Suddenly, Trey's at my back, his hand on my hip as he reaches around me and offers his hand to Lindsey.
"Morning, ma'am. I'm Trey."
She takes his large hand in her own and shakes it, smiling, and says, "Oh, I know."
Heat licks up my neck in embarrassment, but Trey's hand squeezes my side, and my brain effectively buffers offline.
Lindsey's smile widens at me as the kids race past us and into their room.
"I'll text you later, and we'll figure things out," she says.