LaShelle tucked her tablet under her arm, and I bade her farewell. I rested my forehead against the locked front door. My eyes slipped closed as exhaustion washed over me. That bone-deep sadness and elation were there, too, but I was too tired to self-flagellate. I wasn’t sure whether Hannah slept through the night or not, but I was going to be ready either way. I prepared her bottles, measuring out the formula so it would be ready tomix when she woke up, and left everything just outside the door to Hannah’s room, ready to go for when she woke.
I put in an order for groceries to be delivered first thing the next morning and then, heavy limbed, I groaned and headed to my bedroom. I needed a stiff drink and a whole cheesecake. Or maybe a piece of cheesecake and a whole bottle of liquor. But given the toddler now in my care, I chose sleep.
I came face-to-face with the bed and knew I wouldn’t get any rest in it. I could still smell Si’s cologne lingering in the air, and his scent would, no doubt, be on his side of the bed despite the missing pillow. I was going to disinfect anything he touched.
Had Amanda slept in our bed when I’d been away? I’d travelled with the team to Australia at the end of the last season. Si and Amanda would have been together then. Had he brought her here and slept with her in our bed?
I added an STI test to my mental to-do list. Who knew who else he’d been with?
Asshole.
I shook my head, brushed my teeth, then snatched up my pillow and a blanket from my closet.
First thing tomorrow, I’d ask for some time off. I needed it.
I picked up my cell phone, and it vibrated with a message waiting for me to check.
Minns: Hey Keeley, Coach has rescheduled our meeting to 9:00 AM tomorrow. Can you be there too, please?
Correction. I needed some time off after that meeting wrapped up.
I shot off a quick reply, sent a message to my HR director asking to see him, and set my cell to “do not disturb.” My options were the rocking chair in Hannah’s room or the sofa in the living room.
Hannah’s room it was.
three
Keeley
There was a crick in my neck, I had the headache from hell, and my hips hurt from sleeping in the chair. Well, trying to sleep.
I’d spent most of the night staring at the crib in the dim light, thinking about the complete one-eighty my life had taken in the past twenty-four hours. I still didn’t understand how I hadn’t seen what Simon was doing. I’d been so blinded by my trust in him that I had to wonder what cues I’d missed. Up until last night, I hadn’t even known problems between us existed.
“Amanda and I are expecting.”
That sentence had shattered my neatly ordered life.
He’d never given me a reason not to trust him. I thought he was open and honest with me. But I’d been wrong about that too. Instead of being honest, he’d waited until Amanda hit the six-month mark, andthenthey’d told me.
Thanks very much, asshole.
It freaking hurt. Like a gut punch, a kick to the vagina, and a paper cut in the crease of your palm all at once. My heart ached.I was gutted. My whole future now looked completely different from what it had twelve hours ago.
“Amanda and I are heading to Vegas for a few days.” He pressed his lips together in a frown. “We have busy days too. Long nights planned as well. I might not even be able to speak much.”
“That’s okay, Si. You go get those clients the best deals you can.”
“Want to know about the Golden Knight we’re headhunting?”
I held my hand up in a stopping motion. “No! You can’t tell me.”
Si grinned, and I rolled my eyes. He knew I’d never want to know anything about a rival team, and he always respected the confidential nature of his clients’ arrangements. He’d never tell me anything, but he did like to tease me.
Huh, so I guess busy days and long nights had been a euphemism for screwing like bunnies.
Prick.
I couldn’t trust a single thing he’d said to me in the past eighteen months. With the benefit of hindsight and twelve hours of restlessness where I’d analyzed everything that happened in the last half of our marriage, I could see the signs. Simon hadn’t always travelled as much—it definitely increased when Amanda joined his team. I assumed it was because he’d become a senior agent and was expanding his client load. Amanda was a full-time junior agent, and he needed to bring new clients in and keep the existing ones happy to keep them employed. He had ambitions for partnership, too, so it made sense that he’d put in the hard yards to get there.