“Thank you, Rowland. I am truly grateful,” she said sincerely.
Rowland gave Anna a look, as though he was gloating over his accomplishment and Phoebe felt her heart grow warm with fondness.
Anna pointedly ignored their older brother as she shuffled even closer to Phoebe, looking her in the eye as she told her softly,
“You have done plenty, Phoebe. We would not have the peace that graces our lives without you and we will forever be grateful to you. But we do not wish for you to continue to put yourself ahead of us. You are important to this family, Phoebe, and you deserve an even better life than what you have worked to give us. And you are allowed to take it, without much regard to us. We will be fine, sister. Take care of yourself.”
Her younger sister sounded so... sad as she said those words, as though it had broken her to watch Phoebe break herself over the years in a bid to give her siblings a better situation than what they lived in and she couldn’t help but nod slowly.
“I will do my best,” Phoebe replied, wishing that she would be strong enough to keep her words.
With everything crumbling around her, it was all she could hope to do.
“I do not understand what you both are speaking about –” Rowland began with a surly frown.
“Likely because it is a matter that are not meant to reach the ears of a gentleman,” Anna sighed.
Rowland glared at her without heat and held the plate he had assembled with clear painstaking attention.
“But, surely Phoebe can muse about the situation while she eats,” he continued.
It was heart warming, seeing her brother so concerned and attentive, so Phoebe managed to stifle her dwindled appetite in an effort to eat some of what he had prepared.
It was a difficult feat, but his proud nods motivated her to continue until she had successfully managed a little more than a few bites. She liked being in the midst of her siblings again, as she had missed their closeness. She missed watching them argue without heat, missed noticing the way the corners of Rowland’s lips curled in amusement as he fully understood that he was getting under Anna’s skin. And she adored the way their youngest sister always sat up straighter or drew herself to her full height in a bid to make sure Rowland knew that she was not afraid of him.
In the midst of the hopelessness, they were her light.
Her mind eventually wandered to her husband and she found her gaze drifting on the passionate conversation Anna and Rowland were having about a gentleman that ‘most certainly had not winked’ at Anna earlier. She found him sooner thanshe expected to, flanked by men and women who seemed utterly enthralled by his very presence.
She understood how they felt, had gotten to know first hand, just how special it was to be within his vicinity, had felt the warm rays of his attention. And it was an odd feeling, the mix of pride and devestation that came from being away from him, watching others be permitted to revel in his attention.
“Phoebe! There you are,” Jane cheerfully exclaimed as she spotted Phoebe in the pavilion. “I have been looking for you all over! I would like to introduce you to some dear friends of mine – oh, my apologies, was I interrupting?”
Phoebe glanced at her siblings in uncertainty but Rowland simply nudged her forward.
“Go on. I must go chaparone our little sister as she parades around the garden like a swan with a ribbon around her neck,” he stated with a long suffering exhale.
Anna reached out to pinch him and Phoebe turned to address Jane.
“You are not, do not worry. These two were just about to abandon me for much more exciting adventures,” Phoebe managed to tease, already feeling uneasy as her siblings bowed to the duchess in preparation to leave.
But first they gave her a hug each, along with a kiss on her cheek and she hoped the warmth their love provided would linger for a long time.
“All right, come along,” Jane prompted, taking Phoebe’s hand and pulling her to feet.
As soon as she was standing, Phoebe could tell something was amiss. The world seemed to tilt on its axis and the corners of her vision darkened slightly. Whatever strength she had recovered while she had been with her siblings faded away briskly, leaving her feeling as though she was wading through deep waters and was barely managing to keep her head up.
She managed to step out onto the garden grounds once more, but her legs were shaking horribly. She could hear Jane voice her concern once more, but the words sounded distant as she inhaled deeply but still felt as though she was short of breath.
The world dimmed again and this time, she fell into the abyss.
Edward had sensed something was not right with Phoebe from the moment she had stepped into the carriage. He had thought that perhaps she had taken issue with the sudden request to appear at a social gathering afterall, but she seemed pleasant with Jane and Thomas when the hosts came to greet them.
Still, the unease never faded, even as he watched her siblings fawn over her. He had not wanted to leave her side but inevitably did, slipping away while she was distracted, but nonetheless, he continued to check on her discreetly.
He had seen Jane approach her with the intention of introducing her to a few of her closest friends, had glanced away to keep up the pretense of indulging in the curiosity some of the guests had about his marriage.
And when he looked back at Phoebe, she was crumbling to the ground.