The physician sighed deeply. “She is awake now, Your Grace. She seems to have overworked herself recently and is in need of good rest. And a filling meal, as it appears that she has not had much appetite recently. Perhaps offer her more soups and porridge.”
“We will prepare some at once,” Maude declared before making her way to the kitchen.
Edward wanted to be relieved, but the old man added with a wry expression, “You should speak with her, Your Grace. I believe a conversation is in order between you two.”
His words reignited the concern in Edward and before he could question what the man meant, he bowed to the duke and took his leave.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“Have you told His Grace the news yet, Your Grace?”
Phoebe felt as though her strength had been sapped out of her body completely. It had been a strange experience, to wake up in her bed after she had crumbled at Jane’s garden party.
A part of her was worried for her new friend and she hoped that she had not ruined the party completely. And the other side of her attention was doing its best not to crumble in the face of the physician’s question.
He took her silence as a sign that she might have not heard him and repeated the question, this time adding the detail she was afraid to face.
“Have you informed His Grace about the child yet, Your Grace?”
Phoebe shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut, desperate to pretend that this was simply a terrible dream, but all too aware that it was not.
She’d had her suspicions but had been too afraid to entertain the thought as she could feel her body change drastically over the last few weeks. She sensed that the unrest was due to the fact that she was yet to come to terms with the truth — or rather, what it would mean for her.
“Your Grace —”
“I will tell him,” Phoebe said quickly, her gaze pleading. “P-Please, let me be the one who tells him. Do not give him any clue as to what is really wrong with me.”
The physician, a kind slim man with a rather eccentric mustache who had introduced himself as Mr Adam Gilbert, studied her for a moment and then sighed.
“As you wish, Your Grace. But I implore you to take better are of yourself. You are no longer solely responsible for just one person now, but two. Eat properly and allow yourself to get better rest.” He instructed as he put his tools back into his leather briefcase.
“I will,” Phoebe said and hoped that she meant it.
Mr Gilbert bowed to her and took his leave, giving Phoebe a moment to her thoughts. Everything was falling apart so quickly, and she found herself once more displaced by the situationaround her. She did not know what to make of things, what she could dare to hope for from the future that lay ahead.
But she knew that regardless, she would have to face her present to get there.
There was a gentle knock at the door and she knew before she responded that it was Edward.
“You may enter,” she called, the familiar pressure of fear rising up in her throat.
Her husband walked in, his gaze fixed on her for a few seconds, as though he was assessing her well-being from where he stood. The hope that she had thought had long since perished stirred in her chest but she paid it no mind because she knew it was of no use.
“Are you all right?” he questioned, approaching her bed but not making it all the way to her side, leaving some distance between them.
Phoebe looked down at where her hands were clasped together over the covers that had been pulled over her and for the first time in a while, she missed her parents in a way that made her feel as though she was a child all over again.
She felt so utterly alone, so terrified of what she held within her and what it would mean for them and all she wanted was forher mother and father to be by her side, holding her hands and supplying her with the courage and strength she needed.
“I… I do not know,” she mumbled, willing herself to look up at him. “I have something I need to say.”
Edward nodded, the motion so stiff, it looked foreign on him. Phoebe swallowed, inhaled deeply and exhaled the words that had been churning within her for longer than she was willing to admit.
“I am with child. I was not sure at first but… I suspected as much for a little while. And I did not want to tell you… because you would have left me.”
Tears filled her eyes and this time, nothing she could do would have stopped them from spilling in front of him. And it seemed that once it started, it would not stop. Heavy sobs wracked her body as she forced herself to continue,
“I… I do not want to lose you, Edward. It was never my intention to let things get this far. Even though I know that this was merely to be an arrangement, I couldn’t help but fall in love with you. Not because of the things you did for my family, but because of who you are. I have witnessed your kindness and strength, your determination and courage and slowly, all of those things grew to be quite endearing to me and I couldn’t fight how I felt anymore. But I understand that is not what you want. I know that you have no intention on going back on your word.