“You don’t have to go over there,” I tell him. “I trust Alec and Knox. And Officer Dawson and all the staff at the school.”
“Okay.” Ronan touches my hand. “But if you change your mind…”
“I was thinking about the island,” I blurt.
“The island?” Ronan looks confused. “What island? Do you want to take a trip? Or—” His forehead pinches. “Do you want me to find an island for us to stay at? I know there are someout in the Finger Lakes. And off the coast of Maine, there are a bunch. I’m pretty sure there are some that we could rent in the Adirondacks?—”
I have a moment’s thought of backtracking. But then I think,why?I’m an adult. With desires. Needs. And despite the blip in our relationship, Ronanismy boyfriend. “No, not that kind of island.”
“Okay…” He glances at the kitchen island. “So I’m assuming you mean this one?”
“Yes.”
He eyeballs it. “Is it dirty?”
“No. I cleaned it.” I give the top of the island a pointed look. “I was thinking about things… we could do with it.”
“Do with it?” I can tell the second he realizes. His voice dips.“Oh.”
A flutter of anxiety hits my stomach. “Is it wrong? To think about that? With everything else going on?”
“No.” Ronan takes both my hands in his. His expression softens. “It’s not wrong, cupcake. You’re allowed to think about whatever you want.”
“Cupcake?”
He actually blushes. “I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I just think it sometimes. Since you always smell like?—”
“Cupcakes. You think I smell like cupcakes.”
“You do.” Ronan takes a step closer to me. “I can’t walk past a bakery without thinking about you.” He pauses. “If you don’t like it, though, I won’t say it again.”
I turn the nickname over in my head, considering. “I like it. It’s cute.”
“Okay.” He smiles. “Good.” As he keeps looking at me, his gaze heats. “So. The island?”
“Are you sure it’s not bad to be thinking about this?” I press. “It’s not that I’m not worrying. Or thinking about all the otherstuff. It just popped into my head. And… maybe I’ve thought about it before, too.”
“Angel.” Ronan kisses me gently on the lips. “It isabsolutelynot bad. We all do it. We need to. Otherwise, the worries would overwhelm us. And.” He kisses me again. “You don’t have anything to worry about. So there’s that.”
“I don’t?”
“No. You don’t. Haley is better than fine. And in less than four hours, she’ll be home, so you can see for yourself. My team is investigating. Sage and Patrick are on it. And until this all gets cleared up, which it will, you’re safe.” His lips tip up at one corner. “Tonight, we’ll order pizza and play a game with Haley and after she goes to bed, we can watch TV and I’ll give you a massage to help you relax. So it’s all fine. And you can think about whatever you want.”
Oh.
After spending the last five years worrying about everything on my own, I’m not used to someone supporting me through it. But it’s nice.
Better than nice.
“I was thinking about what you might do to me on the island,” I admit.
His gaze heats. “What would I do to you?”
“Um.” Having the fantasy in my head is one thing. But putting voice to it…
“You can tell me.” Ronan’s voice goes low and rough. “I’d like to know. And if you tell me, I could do it for real.” Uncertainty flickers in his eyes. “Unless you’d rather not. That’s okay, too.”
But I do want it. I want to bring my fantasy to life. I want to feel something other than fear and worry for a change.