The walls I’ve constructed around my heart spring a few more cracks. The emotion I’ve been shoving down makes a bid for the surface.
Let him in,the little voice whispers.It’s okay. You can trust him.
Throat suddenly tight, I nod. “You can help.”
Something unreadable darkens his eyes. Gathering me close to his side again—achingly carefully, so he doesn’t accidentally hurt me—Ace kisses the top of my head. And though I always thought it seemed condescending when I saw people do it in the movies, it doesn’t feel that way at all. It just makes me feel cared for.
“Okay,” Ace says. “So, here’s what I’m thinking. We’ll get you settled in the apartment, then we’ll order in some food, watch someBattleBots, and maybe in a little while, you—” He stops. Smiles. “Wetake a nap. Then we can watch a movie later, or sit by the fire if you like. It’ll be like we planned.”
Sort of. I won’t have Ace to help me with my project, which is something I’d been looking forward to all week. But with my fingers broken, I have a feeling my project is going to be on hiatus for a while.
And I have a strong feeling Ace won’t touch me like he would have, either. Not with all my bandages and bruises. It sucks though, because that was something else I was really looking forward to. More kissing, possibly taking our clothes off, seeing Ace’s body in all its unclothed glory, and maybe even asking him if he wanted to spend the night in my bed.
When we reach the second floor, Ace gestures at the hallway to the right. “Webb and Noelle’s apartment is that way. To the left is the first of our client apartments.” As he starts up the next flight of stairs as he adds, “I’m up here. And the apartment where you’ll be is just across the hall. So if you need anything in the middle of the night, I can be there in seconds.”
“Okay.” It stings a little that he didn’t ask me to stay in his apartment. I know it’s silly to feel that way, considering we just started dating, but?—
“I thought you’d want some space,” Ace adds. “That’s why I suggested you stay in one of the client apartments. Not that you’re a client, of course. But I wanted you to have your own space. You’re more than welcome to come to my place any time you want.”
Swallowing back the lump of hurt lodged in my throat, I ask, “You don’t have any clients who need it?”
He shakes his head. “Not now, no. We’re in a lull between our pro-bono clients, and they’re the only ones we invite to stay on the premises. And even if we did, now that Bea and Indy have their own house—I’ll show it to you when we take a tour of the property—we have two spare apartments.”
“Oh. That’s good.” But the closer we get to the door of the client apartment—that sounds so cold and un-girlfriend-like, the word,client—the less good it feels. As the front door looms ahead of us, all I can think about is being alone in there. Maybe not now, but eventually, Ace will head back to his place, and I’ll be sitting in this strange apartment with only my memories for company.
Oblivious to my inner turmoil, Ace uses his finger to unlock the door and pushes it open. “Tyler will add your fingerprint to this keypad, as well. Or, shit, he probably already did. I should have had you try it.” He shakes his head. “Oh well. We can try it later.”
We walk into the apartment, and I take a look around. There’s an open living room slash kitchen area, all decorated in warm tones of greens and browns, giving it sort of a mountain-y, rustic feel. The couch looks cozy and inviting, and across from it, there’s a TV stand with an electric fireplace built into it. The kitchen has butcher block counters topped with a fancy coffee maker, a vase of fresh flowers, and a basket overflowing with candles and chocolates.
“The basket is from Eden,” Ace says. “Rafe told me she was putting it together for you. And—” He jolts. “Shit.”
I glance at him in alarm. “What?”
“I had something for you. But it’s still in my car.”
“That’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I really wanted… Well. I meant to give it to you last night. But…”
It’s clear he doesn’t want to remind me of Davis again. Not much chance of that, unfortunately, since I haven’t been able to erase his face from my mind no matter how hard I try.
“I’ll get it later,” Ace says. “Once you’re settled.” Gesturing to a hallway across the room, he adds, “That leads to the bedrooms. There are two of them. And two full baths. They’re both set up, so you can pick whichever you like.”
The black hole in my chest yawns open a bit more.
Unexpectedly, tears prick behind my eyes.
I don’t want to be alone tonight. I don’t want to face the inevitable nightmares on my own. I want Ace’s reassuring presence here, calming me down when the panic attacks threaten.
But I can’t bring myself to tell him any of that. Even though Iknowhe offered to help.
“It’s really nice,” I finally say, once I trust myself enough to speak without crying. “I’ll have to thank Eden for the basket. And whoever set up the apartment for me…”
Unconsciously, my arms wrap around my stomach. The lump in my throat grows bigger.
I know it’s stupid, feeling like this.
Things could be so much worse. So what if my maybe-boyfriend relegated me to the client apartment instead of inviting me to stay with him? So what if I have to deal with another night of bad dreams? It won’t be the first time. Not even close.