About halfway down the ballroom. A man who stood out amongst the rest. The confident way he strode through the throng of people reminded her of …
No.
He said he wasn't coming.
But … the man walking directly toward her had lighter skin than most of the others here, he was taller than most, too. And he reminded her so much of Mateo it was almost impossible to believe that it wasn't him. Except he’d told her flat out that he wasn't going to come after her. That he’d get intel to his boss but wanted to remain undercover and keep working his job.
When the man got a little closer, Ally gasped.
ItwasMateo.
He was here, in the South Pacific, in the ballroom of the man who had bought her, wearing a tux like all the others and striding toward her like he owned the place. Everything else faded away, the people, the noise, it all disappeared as her gaze fixed on the only man she’d ever allowed to get close to her.
Here.
Not still undercover at Azure.
Had he really pulled out of his undercover job because of her? To come for her?
The relief she felt as he got closer was instantaneous and complete. If Mateo was here, then everything would be okay. It was crazy to think that because he’d stood by and let the other men at Azure do things to her, made her do things to them, too, but she understood that he hadn't had a choice. She hated it, but she did get that if he’d tried to stop it from happening, both of them would have been in a worse position.
“Baby,” he murmured brokenly when he stepped up onto the platform with her. His large body blocked her view of most of the ballroom, and even if it didn't, her attention couldn’t be anywhere else but on this man.
“You came. You're here.” It didn't seem real, and if she couldn’t feel the hard floor beneath her knees, the half-drying stickiness on her skin, the buzz of laughter and music in her ears, she might have thought she was hallucinating.
“Yeah, little mouse, I couldn’t stay away. Not from you. Not from my sweet, beautiful, funny, smart, caring, kind, sexy, wonderful little mouse.”
The words were so raw, and she had a feeling she was getting the most honest, most authentic version of Mateo Adler that existed. There was still anger inside her directed at this man, she wasn't sure that she wanted him in her life after this, but Ally also knew without a shadow of a doubt that she still loved him.
“I kept praying you'd come, but I didn't think you would. I'm sorry I wasn't stronger, didn't fight harder.” For as long as she lived, the fact that she had so easily acquiesced to everything the traffickers demanded of her would haunt her.
Ally had always known she was weak, pathetic, and cowardly, but this had taken things to another level, and she vowed that if she did get back home, she was going to be stronger. She was going to find value in herself even if no one else ever had. She would go to therapy and learn how to see herself as worthy of at least the most basic of human kindnesses.
Fingers dug into her cheek, and Mateo leaned in, the intensity in his dark eyes felt almost like a brand against her soul. It commanded her attention and demanded that she believe him when he spoke. “No, little mouse, you did exactly what you needed to do to survive. I know you don’t get it, but the things some of those other women went through … baby, I wouldn't have been able to handle seeing you go through that. I would have lost control and given away who I was. That would have left you hanging, without anyone to make sure you were rescued once you were sold. The things they would have done to you would have made what you endured seem like a fun little game. I'm so sorry, little mouse. You were right, I should have got you out sooner, should have taken that risk, should have stopped worrying that people would think I was being selfish. I failed you.”
That’s how it had felt when they were back in that warehouse, but now she understood the unwinnable position he’d found himself in. He could have risked trying to get her out, and it might have worked. If it did, then sure, she would have endured a little less trauma, but it wasn't like she wouldn't have been traumatized at all. Or he could have risked trying to get her out, and it could have all fallen apart. He could have been caught, found out as a traitor, and been tortured and killed. Even if theydidn't specifically hurt her to hurt him, she would have been left alone without a shield and possibly sold without Prey ever knowing where she was.
“No,” she said, softly, but surely. “You didn't fail me. You did what you had to do, even though it sucked. And now you're here.”
“Have a whole team here with me, baby, and I'm not leaving without you. Need you to be strong just a little longer. Don’t,” he warned when she opened her mouth to say she didn't think she’d been strong once in this entire ordeal, and he obviously read that in her gaze. “Sometimes strength isn’t fighting, little mouse, sometimes it’s just enduring.”
When he glanced over his shoulder and then turned back to look at her, his brow was furrowed, and she realized they'd both forgotten that they weren't alone. People were here, she was the center of attention, if Mateo just stood here and talked to her and then walked away, they’d think that was strange. She didn't need any training to know that fitting in was key to being successful undercover.
“Sorry, baby, I don’t want to do this, but I don’t think we have a choice.”
There was no time to ask what he meant, because he unzipped, pulled himself free, and then the hand that was still on her cheek began to stroke against her skin.
“Open up,” he said, his voice a little louder this time, a little harder. But there was no hardness in his eyes, they were soft, full of emotion. Full of love.
So she opened, and when his length passed her lips, she willingly took him into her mouth. His presence was steadying, reassuring, and the taste of him on her tongue was different than how the others had tasted, different from how they had felt as well.
As long as Mateo was here, as long as she could lock her gaze on his, she was okay. She could do this.
August 20th
8:04 P.M.
The warmth of Ally’s mouth shouldn’t feel good wrapped around his length.