He gave a forced grin, but still didn’t look happy. “Sorry that both of those things hurt you. You said you always wanted the truth and I’m trying to give it to you. And the kidnapping thing is because I want you safe. I mean, it’s no heartache for me, exactly, to have you around all the time, but I really don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“It still isn’t your job to protect me.”
His chest heaved, his nostrils flaring as his hands tightened on my face. “It is when you’re mine. It is when I won’t let you get killed in front of me. I will do anything to keep you safe, including this.”
Frustration bubbled up in my throat. I wanted everything to make sense. The agonizing feeling that I was so close to putting it all together, but not quite there yet was making me lose my mind. “But why do you think you have to?” I asked.
Like I said the wrong thing, his hands dropped from me and he stepped back.
“Because I love you, Regan. I didn’t think it would be possible, but I love you.”
“With everything you have said to me, now you think I’m supposed to trust you because you say you love me?” I asked,my heart racing at the clear-cut words. He had said he had fallen in love with me the other day, but after his confession, I didn’t think it was the truth. “I don’t think you lie to people you love.”
“I told you I was taking everything from you. I just couldn’t tell you how.”
“That doesn’t count as telling me the truth. You also said you had a lot to give me in exchange. Where is all that stuff?”
He grabbed me, ripping me closer as he forced my hands onto his chest. “I am giving you more. I am giving youme. Every fucking part of me. Is that not enough for you?”
“In exchange for taking everything from me? For locking me up? Would you be okay if the tables were turned?”
His lip curled. “This is temporary. A moment of our lives while I build a better life for us. A safer one. I can’t have a price on your head, and I won’t let you walk around waiting for a bullet. Once I kill the man who did it, you are free again.”
“You can’t walk around thinking you’re my protector. I didn’t ask you to be. You think you need to protect everyone you care about to the point you are locking me in my room?”
“And you can’t give up who you are to do everything you’re fucking told,” he said, nearly yelling. “But you do.”
“I haven’t!” I yelled, pulling away. “I have stood up for myself. I learned and I am trying to do better now. What about you? Are you trying to not keep everyone locked up and call it safe?”
He turned back to me, rage coating his face as he stomped towards me. “I willnotlose anyone else I care about, and I sure as fuck won’t lose them to Cameron again. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you now, Regan.”
Every part of me was at odds with loving Rook, and not wanting to believe my dad would really do these things.
My shoulders fell, the angry edge to my voice gone now as I gave up. I was too tired to keep fighting him, to keep runningaround in this circle of being mad and then hurt, and then back to loving him. I knew he was angry, and he should be for what happened to him. He just didn’t need to be angry at my dad.
“Why are you so sweet as you are locking me up like a prisoner?” I huffed, sitting back in my chair with a hard breath.
He grinned, falling back on the bed. “I have to be a little charming to get away with the things I do.”
I rolled my eyes, pulling my tablet up and sitting back. He watched me for a while until I looked over, smiling when I noticed he had passed out.
I stayed silent, working for another two hours on my drawing until he rolled over, his eyes flickering open.
“What time is it?” he asked.
I glanced at my phone. “A little past eleven.”
“Why are you still up?”
“I’m drawing,” I said, not hiding the snip in my tone.
“Drawing what?” he asked. He always asked.
He always complimented each one and acted like I was a real artist. I glanced up at the painting that hung above his head now, my heart aching a little.
“You,” I finally said. “All your tattoos are interesting. I’m trying to replicate them on a portrait of you, but it’s harder than I thought.”
“Show me.” His voice was still deep and gravelly from sleep, making me want to crawl right into bed next to him.