“You didn’t keep in touch?”
“We tried, but I was so busy learning all the routines and practicing and traveling. I know it seems like cheerleaders don’t do much, but we work really hard.”
“I actually do know.” I think of my aunt Liv and my mom and even Aunt Dylan working with the drill team at my old high school. “So you don’t know anything that happened after that night you made the Krewe?”
“I heard she got pregnant.” She shakes her head, frowning. “Of course, I heard she’d passed, but I didn’t find out until after the funeral.”
It’s my turn to feel defeated. I had hoped Stacia would have answers, but it looks like she only knows a little more than I do.
“If she were to get pregnant, do you know who the father might be?” I tilt my head to look at her. “Was she dating anybody?”
“No.” Stacia presses her lips together, and her cheeks glow pink. “You were her number one choice for that. It was part of theMamma Miathing, having all the experiences while she still had time.”
“What do you mean, I was her number one choice?”
She ducks her head, pressing her hands to her face. “It’s a little embarrassing.”
“Please don’t be embarrassed. It’s important that I know.”
“Well… She really liked you. She thought you were the perfect blend of cocky, sweet, and sexy—those were her words. She thought you’d make the perfect boyfriend. She was just waiting for you to look up and notice her.”
“Shit.” That makes my stomach hurt.
I don’t know how to take this information. Does it mean she targeted me? Or does it mean she was just a sweet girl with a crush? Did I take advantage of my position?
There was no way. I’d only just joined the team. I hadn’t even moved here yet. Up to that point, I’d only been a star in college, and there were a million of those.
I had girlfriends, but nothing was as important to me as football.
“Was Bonnie the type that would…”How do I say this?“Would she go after someone? Like to get something out of him?”
Her brow furrows, and at first it seems she doesn’t understand what I mean. Then her eyes widen, and she shakes her head emphatically. “That was not what she did. She loved supporting the players. She was in it for the game. You just happened to be her favorite.”
Now I’m all itchy. I was supposed to be keeping this a secret. As usual, I’ve let the cat out of the bag… or in this case the kitten… the baby out of the bouncy chair.
“She named her Christine.”
“That was her mother’s name,” Stacia’s voice is soft. “What a tragedy. She lost her mom at a young age, too.”
My hands are clasped in front of me, and while I know more than I did when I got here, I still don’t have the answers I need. I still don’t know for sure Cricket is mine. I guess in time I’ll have the answer.
“Hey, thanks. I just… I’m just helping out a friend. I hope you’ll keep this quiet. You know, between us.”
Her brow furrows, and she stands, walking backwards to where her team is waiting. “Of course! If I can help any more, let me know.”
I thank her again and let her get back to her practice. Walking slowly to the door, I try to decide what to do now.
If Bonnie was sort-of ajersey chaser…I hate that phrase, but I don’t know what else to use. If that’s what she was, Cricket could belong to anybody. Looking up at the giant image of me in my uniform, surrounded by the team on the wall in the main hallway, I try to imagine a girl with a crush.You were her favorite.
Tightness is in my chest, and I rub my hand over my forehead. I’ve made a lot of mistakes since I joined this program, but still I’ve managed to turn them into wins.
I have a sinking feeling if I make a mistake this time, it could turn into a loss I couldn’t redeem.
* * *
“If you must defineour relationship, I would be his uncle.” I’m stepping into my apartment, when I recognize that impatient, ultra-logical voice. “His father’s brother married my stepsister, but we’re not related by blood.”
“Edward?” I drop my bag in the foyer and jog into the living room. “Edward—you made it! I am so glad to see you, bro.”