However, my sister-in-law doesn’t appear to be listening. ‘I’m so disappointed in you, Zoe. Toby didn’t deserve that. The worst thing… the very worst thing…’ She makes jabbing motions towards me with her forefinger. ‘Is that I thought you were better than that. I actually looked up to you – bet you didn’t know that! Not anymore though. No. Not anymore. No more looking up to the wonderful Mrs Zoe Johnson.’
I’m utterly astonished by Madeline’s accusation. Is this why she’s been so off with me recently? Why Kim has also been snubbing me? In fact, several of the school mums barely spoke to me this evening. It would make sense if this was the reason. It’s just another hideous lie to add to everything else that seems to be upending my life at the moment. The feeling that nothing is quite right. That my whole world is off balance. But why the hell would Nick tell Madeline such a thing in the first place? Where did he hear it, and why was he so quick to believe such a thing? I need to have a word with him. Right now.
Twenty-Three
NOW
‘Madeline, listen to me. Where did Nick hear about this so-called affair?’
She presses her knuckles to her mouth. ‘I shouldn’t have told you. Nick said I wasn’t supposed to say anything. I’m in big trouble now.’ She walks unsteadily over to a flight of carpeted stairs next to the lift and sits down heavily on the second stair. ‘Look at me, I’m on the naughty step.’
‘Madeline, you should have spoken to me about this earlier. I could have put you straight.’
‘I wanted to talk to you, Zoe, but I wasn’t allowed. And now I’m in trouble. I’m in so much trouble.’ She leans against the wall and closes her eyes.
‘I haveneverhad an affair.’ But I’m not sure she’s even listening to me anymore. I’m desperate to speak to Nick, to find out where he got his information from, but I can’t leave my sister-in-law like this. I manoeuvre her off the stairs and into the lift and take her up to her room. After much fumbling about in her bag for the room key, we finally make it inside. She sits on the bed and slowly lies down, closing her eyes, but I sit her back up and lead her over to a plush velvet chair by the curtains. I draw them open a little and pull down the sash window to let in some fresh air. A sudden freezing blast makes me gasp, so I close it back up, leaving just a crack.
‘Don’t fall asleep yet, Madeline, I’m going to make us both some coffee.’
‘Is it after four o’clock?’
‘What’s this obsession with not drinking coffee after four? No, it’s not,’ I lie, putting a capsule into the coffee machine, place a cup beneath the spout and switch on the machine.
‘Good.’ She rambles on for a while about coffee until I cut her off.
‘Let’s have these coffees and then I’ll fetch Nick. Try to sort out this mix-up about me and my imaginary affair.’
‘S’not imaginary. It’s real. Nick’s been quite ill about it. For weeks.’
‘He can’t have been ill overme.’
‘He’s been worried, Zoe. It’s not fair making him keep secrets like that. Especially from me. Toby swore him to secrecy.’
‘Tobyknows about this?’
‘Poor Toby is devastated. Course he is.’ Madeline points at me. ‘You’ve caused all this upset you know. Shouldn’t have done it.’
‘But it’s not true!’ I stop what I’m doing and think back to how Toby’s been behaving over the past few days. There’s been nothing to suggest that he thinks I’m cheating. Nothing at all. I think Madeline must have got hold of the wrong end of the stick. ‘So tell me, Madeline, who am I supposed to be having this affair with? Where did the rumour even start?’ My mind suddenly flies to Cassie. This reeks of her handiwork. It would make sense, as she’s always had it in for me. Maybe she started the rumour to sabotage my anniversary party. Maybe she’s jealous of me. Or maybe she just wanted to punish me because of what Dina did to her. She couldn’t get back at my sister, so I was the next best thing. I pass Madeline her cup of coffee and put a fresh capsule into the machine for me. I’m more than a little drunk myself. This all feels so surreal.
Madeline sets her drink on the glass table with a clatter. ‘You should just come clean, Zoe. Lying doesn’t help anyone. There’s poor Nick making himself sick with worry. And dear Toby sticking up for you, even after this type of betrayal. The man is a saint.’ As Madeline sips her coffee, she’s starting to sound a little more coherent. ‘I tried to get Toby to talk to you about it, but he wouldn’t hear of it. Said it would only make things worse.’
Something occurs to me. I take my coffee and sit on the end of the bed opposite Madeline. The cold air streams in through the tiny gap in the window and I find myself shivering. ‘When exactly did you speak to Toby about this?’
She screws up her nose as she tries to remember. ‘Some time last week… Friday, I think. Yes, definitely Friday, before Nick and I went away for my birthday. You ruined that too – Nick wasn’t himself at all.’
‘I still don’t get why Nick would feel sick about me having an affair. Sure, he’d be upset on Toby’s behalf, butsick? No. I don’t believe it. It makes no sense.’
‘Believe what you want, but it’s true,’ she slurs. ‘Nick has morals. He doesn’t like lies or secrets. He’s got a conshus… conshuns… conscience.’
I’m beginning to wish I’d let Madeline fall asleep. She’s growing more bolshy by the second. ‘I saw you meet up with Toby at our house last week. Is that when you spoke about it?’
‘How did you see us?’ She frowns for a moment and then waves the thought away. ‘Never mind. Yes, Toby asked to see me so he could explain why he wanted to keep your affair a secret. He said it was because of the children, so of course I had to agree.’ She folds her arms across her chest and gives a little shiver.
‘Toby told me he’d met up with you because of the surprise. He said you were helping him to plan it.’
‘What surprise?’ She reaches forward for her coffee and takes a couple of sips.
‘This whole weekend away.’ I gesture around me to the room. ‘This was the surprise.’