I’d thought he’d call me out for trying to flip the conversation around and redirect the question to him, but Flynn just shook his head.
“No.I mean, was I surprised when you walked in the door?Sure.I didn’t even know you were in the city.”
“Why would you?”I asked, rhetorically.
“Right.But William was clearly into you - had been, ever since he saw your profile - so...”
“And is that all that matters?”I pressed, curious despite myself, and the strange churn in my stomach.“If William is into the guy?”
Flynn made a face.“I mean, he’s the one having sex with them.”
It was one of those entirely sensible answers which also completely misses the point.
“He is, yeah.But it’s not like it’s just two people hooking up.You’re there, too.”
He side-eyed me.“You don’t need to understand it, Oli.Just accept that’s what some people enjoy.”
“I wasn’t questioning whether you got something from it.Only saying that you’re involved, even if it’s not in a hands-on way.”
“Right.”Flynn sounded wary, now.
I, meanwhile, was warming to my argument.“So, surely there’s more to it than just whether your boyfriend is into the guy?Unless it’s...sexier, for you, if you don’t get a say, and you don’t even necessarily like the person he picks?”
A beat.“Are you asking me what I get out of watching, or are you asking me if I was attracted to what I saw of you in your profile, and wanted to watch you and William together?”
Any satisfaction I might’ve felt at flipping the conversation around, fled me.
“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” I pointed out.
Flynn laughed.“You’re so cagey.Is it because you’re usually having to self-censor what you say, around people back home?”
It probably was, but I didn’t like the way he said it.The criticism I couldn’t help but read into it, into his tone.
“Is this the place?”I pointed at the sign.
Flynn gave me a grin that suggested he knew I was avoiding answering, but still reached for the door.“Sure is, Oli.I hope you’re hungry.”
#
Iwas hungry, and moreso when I started to read through the menu.My mom was a good cook, and there were actually a couple of pretty decent family-style restaurants in our town - as well as the usual fast food alley, with all the big names lining the same street off the highway - but “American classics” was the theme across the board.One of the burger joints did a “Chinese-style sweet-and-sour chicken,” but I suspected that China would declare war if it discovered it was being credited for the gloopy, radioactive-bright sauce.
“I want everything,” I muttered, re-reading the list of appetizers as my mouth literally watered.
Flynn chuckled.“Everything here is good, if that makes it any easier to pick.”
I glanced up at him, over the menu.“Thanks.It doesn’t.”
He laughed again.“I think you only realize how limited your options are, back home, after you’ve moved away and then come for a visit.”
I snorted.“That’s bullshit.”Looked up again to find him staring back at me, curious.“You know.What you’re missing out on, what the options could be if you left.You just make a choice, based on whether the opportunities are worth what’s involved in leaving.”
Flynn’s silence dragged me from my reading.
“So your choice was to stay somewhere you were always going to be lonely, where you couldn’t tell more than a handful of people about who you really are?”
Carefully, I set down the menu.“Strong words, coming from the man who just a few hours ago was telling me about his crippling debt, and how he felt trapped here.”
It was the bare hint of a shrug.“I didn’t say you had to come here, specifically.Or make the decisions I made, whether they were good or bad.”