“You could come stay with me,” she offers. “My couch is comfier than it looks.”
“They’d find me there. I’m not going to do that to you.”
“Can you hole up at one of your parents’ other houses?”
I shake my head. “I thought about that, but they’re staking those out too.” An all-too familiar sensation bubbles up in my gut, turning my stomach. “If I want to get away from them, I’ll have to leave LA altogether.”
Lola cocks one eyebrow. “Then, why don’t you?”
As if it’s that easy. Lola’s my best and only real friend here. Sure, I’ve kept in touch with my college roommate and our friends from school, but they’re in Canada. Driving across the border and holing up in an entirely different country isn’t as simple as crossing state lines to hide out. Canada’s probably out of the picture. So, where would I go?
My mind wanders to the little town on Mount Desert Island in Maine where my parents and I spent our summers from the time I was ten through the summer before I left for college. Somehow, Bar Harbor always felt more like home than LA ever did, even though we were only there for a month and a half each year.
I could go there.
But the thing that made Bar Harbor feel like home—or should I say, the person—isn’t there anymore. Sure, I could escape to the little seaside resort town, but I suspect I’d end up even more depressed. Because memories of him would beeverywhere.
It took me years to get over him. And I think I have. Mostly. Probably. But I lost something that summer when I lost him.
That warm feeling ofhome? I haven’t felt it since. It was like he was the sun, and when I left Bar Harbor that summer—when I left him—he took all the warmth with him.
“Don’t read it, Rosebud.”Sebastian yanks my phone out of my hand, holding it above his head so I can’t reach. He’s grown since last summer. At sixteen, he’s already a few inches shy of six feet tall. I’m pretty sure I’m almost done growing, and I’m barely five foot five.
“It’s fine,” I lie. “It won’t bother me.”
“That’s bullshit. And there’s nothing wrong with being bothered by strangers on the internet making mean commentsabout the way you look. Anyone would be hurt by that, Indie.” He still holds the phone over my head, but at his words, I stop trying to grab it. Instead, I look into the eyes of the boy who’s become my best friend in the whole world and soak up the care I see there.
No one else has ever looked at me this way, and my heart soars, despite the cruel article and comments that had me spiraling. To the rest of the world, I’m just the disappointingly average daughter of two beautiful movie stars. I’m too chubby, not talented enough, and they love to pick apart everything from my teenage pimples to my stomach rolls.
But not to Bash. To Bash, I’m his best friend. I’m his Rosebud. The girl he textsgood morningandgood nightto every single day. The person he shares his deepest secrets with and whispers his dreams to. He sees the real me in a way no one else ever does.
I wish we could spend every day together, not only during the summers. Ever since that first day we met two years ago, Sebastian has been my best friend. He’s my safe place.
He’s home.
“For what it’s worth, I think they’re all idiots if they can’t see how beautiful and amazing you are.” He shoves my phone into his back pocket and gently grips both of my shoulders, looking into my eyes. “It’s natural to be bothered by what they say, but I want you to know that they’re wrong. They’re just jealous of how awesome you are. Besides, most of the people commenting are probably bald and lonely, anyway. What do they know?”
I laugh for the first time that afternoon when he boops me on the nose. When he pulls me in for a hug, some of the chill I’d been feeling starts to thaw. He’s solid and warm. His presence alone is enough to chase the clouds away.
My sun.
“Yeah, you’re right. What do they know?”
“Why are you making that face?”Lola asks, brows pinched.
“What face?”
“Like you’re taking a shit and it stinks.”
“Ugh.” Always so eloquent, my bestie. “I do not look like that.”
“You do. But that’s not the point. What are you thinking about?”
I roll my lips between my teeth, sucking on them for a moment to let the little bite of pain clear my mind before exhaling deeply. “The sun.”
Lola blinks. “The sun?”
“I was thinking that maybe I need to be near the sun.” Not close enough to get burned again, but close enough to soak up some of his warmth.