One temporary escape from the man who still lives rent-free in my head.
“What’s going on with you, Luca? You seem off.”
His eyes dart around, won’t settle, and his breathing’s uneven. He looks like a spring ready to snap.
“I saw her.”
“Saw who?”
“The girl!” he bursts out, voice sharp with frustration. “The one that’s been messing with my head and throwing me off my game!”
I sit up a little straighter. “Luca, that’s great! You said you couldn’t find her. That youhadto find her, right?”
“No. You don’t get it. It couldn’t have been her. I was hallucinating or something.”
“Okay…” I say carefully, keeping my voice steady while trying to figure out where the hell he’s going with this. “Luca? Where are you going with this?”
Luca’s been seeing me ever since the emotional regulation issues started. He’s always talked aboutthis womanwho’s been messing with his head, but he’s never quite saidhoworwhatexactly she’s done. There’s always this wall he won’t let me past. And as much as I want to dig, I know forcing the pace would only betray the trust we’ve built.
Just as I’m mentally preparing my next question, my tablet lights up with a text—because of course, my phone syncs everything to the damn screen.
And I read it.
Marlow:“Drinks still on for tonight? :)”
“Shit!”
Luca jumps, eyebrows knitting together. “Coach Saunders?”
Did I say that out loud?
Shit.
“I—I'm sorry, Luca.” I scramble, trying to recover. “I saw a message that startled me. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. My bad. You were saying? About your feelings?”
But meanwhile, my brain has completely derailed becausehow am I supposed to go have drinks with Marlow like nothing’s happening?
What am I supposed to say?No, sorry! I don’t want to sit across from you while daydreaming about sitting on your daddy’s face... while calling him Daddy?
Double. Shit.
Luca continues, his voice dropping like he’s about to confess to murder. “You see, I feel like it’s a sign. That I should take some time off the game and go find her. I can’t stop thinking about her.”
Finally, I’ve had enough. I lean forward, dropping the clinical calm and slipping straight into my bestbig sister about to snatch you upvoice.
“Okay. Luca. Pause. Right now.” I hold my hand up like a stop sign. “Can you please just start from the beginning andtell mewhat’s going on? It’s really hard to try to help you when you’re feeding me details like I’m playing a damn game of Clue.”
He lets out a breath like he’s been waiting for me to snap. “I was wondering when you were going to ask.”
“I’m beyond asking, Luca. I’minsisting.”
He grins like this is all so amusing. “I married her.”
I blink. “I’m sorry,what?”
I furrow my brow and sit back, trying to make sure my ears are still working. “One more time, please.”
“I was in Vegas,” he starts, “and some guy approached me to play on a modified version of that reality TV showSightUnseen,where—”