“Noya. Leave me alone.” Mum’s muffled voice comes from underneath the blankets.
“Mum,” I hiss.
“Go away!” she cries.
“Mum, I… I can help you.”
She sits up, livid. Mum grits her teeth and spits, “What do you know about help, Noya? You’re stuck in the same place as I am. There’s no getting out. There’s no escaping him.” She tucks her legs up to her chest and glowers at the TV screen. “Accept that.”
“No.. When I have the chance, I’m fucking leaving here. And even after everything he and you put me through, I still want tohelp. But if you’re going to throw it in my face and not even try.” I shake my head. “Then you can wither in this darkness while watching me thrive in the light.”
She scoffs, “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Well… It’s better than sitting here and turning to dust without trying.” I grab my bag from my room and say, “I’m going to school. Think about what I said and give me an answer before my birthday.”
“Noya,” she calls when I open the front door. “There’s nothing else out there for me.”
I grit my teeth, whirl around and cry, “There’s me!” I touch my chest, feeling many emotions of anger, frustration, and hurt swirling around inside me. “Aren’t I not enough?”
She lowers her gaze and tugs the blanket over her head.
As I walk towards the bus stop, many emotions and thoughts collide. Some part of me wishes I had said nothing. I should have grabbed my bag and left for school, but… she’s my mum, and she’s in deep.
I had to say something—anything. At least now I know that I’ve done everything I could. I even extended my hand to her and offered her a solution. I will know her answer if I hear nothing by the time I leave.
Conner parks at the bus stop. Knowing how late I am, I quickly enter the car and close the door once I’m inside. Conner leans in when I buckle my seatbelt. His lips make me blush, reminding me of where he placed them the day before, and I shy away. How do I kiss those lips without thinking about where they’ve been? Without feeling the heat and the lust.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as he pulls away from the bus stop before the bus comes.
“Nothing,” I stammer.
Conner arches an eyebrow, not believing a word.
I sigh, slump my shoulders and answer, “Yesterday, um… I’m just a little… uh… embarrassed.”
“You weren’t yesterday when you were moaning my name. Loudly, I must add.” He chuckles when I grip his arm and hiss his name.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. What happened yesterday was normal.”
I sag my shoulders and lean more comfortably back in the chair. We sing to “Machine” by Imagine Dragons and talk about the talent show we’re attending this Friday.
I’ve never been to one of the school functions. My life comprised school, work, and hiding at home. These past few weeks have shown me how much I’ve missed because of my dad’s impending fear and lashing out.
When we get to school, Samantha is waiting by the gate. Before I can say hi to her, she links her arm with mine, yanks me away from Conner, and declares, “I’m stealing your girlfriend!”
I turn, waving goodbye. Conner smiles, waves back, and then heads to Aaron and Finch hovering around one of the cars in the parking lot.
“Tell me everything.” Samantha squeals with glee. “Did it hurt? You used protection, right… or are you on the pill?”
“W-what?” I blink a few times and suddenly understand what she’s talking about. “We didn’t have sex,” I whisper, hoping no one near us hears.
“Really?” she asks, surprised. “You did absolutely nothing?”
I look away and bite my lip.
When I look at Samantha again, her jaw drops, and her brown eyes widen to their full extent, reaching their limit. “What did you do? Did you…” She leaves it hanging and waddles her brows.
“No! I didn’t do anything.”