“Let’s go. The bell will go off soon.”
I want to ask him about Sarah, but the way he acted makes me believe she’s a touchy subject for him. So, instead, I smile, and we make our way towards the oval. Conner tells me the rules ofDungeons and Dragonsso that I won’t be “winging it” the next time I play.
13
OUT OF STOCK
Natural [Imagine Dragons]
Sweat beads down my forehead.As I enter the girls’ changing room, my bones ache, my mouth has gone dry, and I’m in desperate need of water.
Samantha sags down into her seat, unable to move her body to change, while I slip out of my sports shorts and put on my tights. As I do, Samantha asks me how my lunch with Conner went.
I tell her about the game we played, but she doesn’t understand.
In all honesty, I wasn’t sure what it was until I played the game.
“Andy was too wired up at lunch,” Samantha says as she sprays deodorant under her armpits. “He expected you to hang out with us.”
“Oh…”
“I told him you’re allowed to have friends outside our circle.” Samantha shrugs. “I guess he is used to you hanging around the back, considering you’ve been doing it since year seven.”
But hanging out with other people doesn’t justify his childish behaviour.
Retrieving my phone from my front pocket, I see messages from Andy and Conner.
Andy: Did you want a lift home?
Conner: I’m waiting beside my car, Lady Guinevere. Does that sound like a cool tank name?
I text Andy. There is a gnawing, guilty feeling, but I shouldn’t because Conner asked first, and I had already made plans with him. I shouldn’t feel guilty or sad when I reject Andy.
Me (to Andy): Sorry, but Conner already asked me this morning. Maybe next week?
Then I reply to Conner.
Me (to Conner): See you then. No.
My phone vibrates before I put it in the bag. Why does he have to be so cruel? I don’t want to see him at school next week while he is acting like this. I don’t even want to reply, knowing that he might respond as bitterly as this message if I do.
Andy: Whatever, Noya. It was a one-time offer. See ya next week if you still want to hang out with us and not Ur *new* friends.
I stuff the phone into my bag and swing it across my shoulder. Samantha walks with me towards the car park, scanning every head in the hope she finds Dylan.
My mind wanders elsewhere as the dark and looming clouds hover over me and my entire life. School is my haven away from Dad, the mess, and Mum’s tears. This is my escape, but the way Andy is acting is making my safe place crumble right before my?—
A sharp and sudden sound draws into my ears. I turn toward the parking lot, and I’m not the only one. Everyone nearby turns at the sudden music pumping loudly. As we head to the car park, Samantha pushes past the crowd, creating an opening.
However, now that I am here…witnessing Conner, I wish I were an ant.
Conner leans against his car door with the window down and “Natural” by Imagine Dragons pumping through his speakers. He points to me as the chorus comes on, singling me out in the crowd.
Samantha’s jaw drops as she grabs my shoulder, rocking it as she tells me how cute this is. I, on the other hand, wish I had never existed.
I consider leaving the crowd and going to the bus stop, but I’m sure he’ll show up and still be playing the song. So, I duck my head and walk towards the dramatic, outlandish culprit. He’s acting as if we live in a high school musical.
“Hey, Noya,” he says as he opens the car door for me.