Maybe I’m being too analytical. Perhaps I haven’t been clear enough. So, I should explain this to Andy so that he can understand.
Body language might not be enough anymore. Actions don’t speak louder than words.
“What are you thinking about?”
I blink twice and then look out at my surroundings. I didn’t realise Conner was parked in front of Mrs Crawford’s house, and my mouth goes dry when I notice the car in the driveway two doors down.
I should have known Dad would be home. It’s a Monday night. The pub closes earlier. Therefore, he will drink at home. And it’s not like he has a problem with that, considering he spent all my money on the card.
“Noya?” A tingling warmth touches my face, and I flinch as I lean away from Conner. “Sorry,” I shouldn’t have?—”
“No…” I say as I lean towards him.
“It’s just I remember you saying your surroundings usually bring you back from your daydreaming…” He looks away, and there’s a reddened glow to his cheeks. “I thought I’d try.”
I shift my body until I face him, and my hands clutch at the car seat while I struggle to compose myself. Heat burns across my neck and cheeks as I admit, “Conner, this past week has been the best week of my life. If you decide not to talk to me again, I’ll cherish our time together.”
“Noya,” he breathes.
“And…” I bite my bottom lip to prevent the shaky breath from shattering out of my lungs. “And one day, I would like you to kiss me. I don’t know when or where, but I’m sure when the time comes, we will both know.”
With a deep breath, I look at him. Conner’s eyes widen, and his mouth parts as if he can’t keep it closed.
“Good night, Conner.”
As I open the door, Conner calls my name. I turn to him, and my eyes widen, a soft gasp breaking through the silence as he unbuckles his seatbelt. His hands touch my waist while mine move around his shoulders.
I bury my head between his neck and shoulder while Conner’s hands stroke along the arch of my back, sending electrifying chills up my spine.
“That night—the night I saw you at the service station—I had an argument with my parents,” Conner says against the shell of my ear. “They didn’t understand why I didn’t want to jump straight into university once I leave school. They weren’t listening to what I wanted, so I drove around and ended up at the service station.”
My arms tighten around his shoulders, and my fingers clutch at the back of his shirt.
“And then the girl I’ve stolen glances at in my art class bumps into a display rack, catching me off guard. So, I grabbed the first packet of chips: chicken. Ihatechicken.”
I breathe a laugh.
“I panicked and went to leave, but when I got to my car, I delayed getting in by having a smoke. If it hadn’t been for the police, I wouldn’t have had the courage to talk to you.”
“Am I that scary?”
“No.” He pulls away, and his gaze steadies on mine. “All this time, it seemed like you wanted to be alone. It wasn’t until we started talking that I realised you didn’t want to be alone. Like me, you wanted someone to understand you, and I want to be that someone, Noya. I’ve never felt this way before. It’s intense and real,” he laughs.
“Conner.” I place my hand over his hand. “You make it hard to leave, but I need to go.”
“I know.” He smiles faintly. “Have a good night, Noya. Sleep well.”
“See you tomorrow morning,” I whisper when I get out of the car, and then I close the door.
Conner turns his car around and drives off when I reach the front door and “pretend” to look for my keys. When I can’t see his car, I make my way down the stairs and walk the path home.
Dad is in the living room watching a replay of a football game when I enter. He ignores me as I enter my room, lie on my bed, and hold my phone.
Conner’s drawing is in there, and for a moment, I close my eyes and think back on being in the car and holding onto that hug longer.
But, like always, in the back of my mind, the thought of Dad coming out and noticing us prevented me from staying in that blissful moment.
There’s still tomorrow.