Samantha gestures to her friends and says, “You remember Reen and Zarya, right?”
“From sports,” I agree. They walk with Samantha and me in P.E. whenever we have to run laps. They are friendly and mostly hang out with their boyfriends near the cafeteria, so I don’t talk to them much.
“Hey,” I say, but they’re gawking at Conner.
“All right,” Miss More calls. “Year eleven students only on this bus. Come on! File in!”
A line forms, and Conner and I are at the back. He holds my sports bag while my hand rests in my pocket, clutching my phone. The line moves quickly, leaving us no time to talk. When it’s my turn to step on, Conner hands me my bag with a smile. “I’ll see you Monday morning. Usual time,” he says.
“Thanks for driving me here.” As the doors close behind me, I push the send button.
“Okay, Miss Taylor. Put your bag over your seat.”
Samantha hails me over, and I make my way toward her. Renee and Zarya are in the row before us. I place my bag on the seat next to me and sit down. She jumps up and down in glee.
My focus drifts to the window, and my stomach drops when I notice Conner with his phone. The bus rumbles to life, and as we drift away from the curb, he looks up with his jaw dropped and eyes wide in disbelief.
I blush profusely and turn away.
My phone vibrates, and I squeeze it more tightly. As I muster enough courage, I take a peek at it, and my stomach does backflips.
Conner: You send that when you’re leaving????
Samantha leans over, pursing her lips. “What did you send him?”
I blush while scrolling up and showing her the long message I’ve been delaying since I wrote it last night.
“Wow. You’re giving me butterflies reading it.” She giggles.
“It doesn’t sound… desperate?”
“I mean, Conner is going to be desperate for your return,” she laughs. “Fuck me, Noya. Maybe I should get you to help me write one for Dylan.”
My phone vibrates, and she sees it before I can and barks a laugh. “He is a simp.”
Conner: I’m wearing my mum’s dress. I will sneak onto the year twelve bus, and we will discuss this text message when I see you at camp.
Me: No.
Samantha howls while touching my shoulder.
Conner: Lol. See you Monday morning, then <3
Afterwards, I put my phone in my pocket, deciding his message was a good end note.
The bus ride will last three hours. Samantha, Renee, and Zarya speak amongst themselves. I find it comforting that they don’t seem malicious or rude when I have difficulty talking, as they press for information about Conner.
I know they have boyfriends, but I find it weird. The questions they ask remind me of a girl wanting to know if the boy has ever noticed her before. Then Samantha says it outright to confirm it, forcing them to go on the defensive.
I lean back while Renee and Zarya speak amongst themselves again. Samantha leans against the glass with her eyes closed. All the energy she had earlier has faded away.
I take out my phone, scroll up, and reread what I sent Conner.
Me: Ten things I like about you, Conner:
1: You make me feel comfortable. Context: The first time we ate in your car, it made me nervous to eat until you did. It made me feel more relaxed to eat like I would eat. You don’t grab and touch me, but wait for me to initiate. You doing that puts me at ease, and… honestly… it makes me want you more.
2: Your self-confidence. Context: You walk with a destination or purpose. Even in McDonald’s, you seemed assured. And when you sang my favourite song at school. (P.S… don’t do that again. It’s embarrassing).