My phone vibrates. I flip it over, and my mouth goes dry.
Andy: Can I call you tonight? We really need to talk.
Conner’s hand tightens reassuringly on my thigh when I set the phone down and sigh. I knew this was coming. I prepared for it to come sooner after I rejected the first message. Perhaps this is his way of giving me time, but I don’t think I’ll ever believe that what he did wasn’t wrong. The thought of his hands on me… his lips?—
I shake my head and lean back, feeling the cool air-con brushing against my heated face.
What should I do?
Sighing, I respond to Andy before he blows up my phone.
Me: I’ll send you a message when I am available tonight.
What he has done… what he said… I need to talk to him about it. I cannot prolong this any longer. He needs to understand that his actions were wrong and his words were untrue and harsh. Does he think I don’t want to leave home? Does he believe I had a way to leave without Dad finding me? Even now, as I plan to live with Conner, I see my dad trying to find me, which frightens me.
“If he says anything you don’t like, hang up, baby,” Conner murmurs.
I place my hand over his and slip my fingers through the cracks. “It hurts losing a friend, especially a childhood friend.”
“I know.”
I bite my lip and keep my gaze on the car ahead of us. They keep breaking prematurely, almost as if it’s deliberate. But Conner’s car has an advanced feature that beeps and slows down instantly whenever the vehicle stops.
“Um, were you and Andy friends in primary school?” I ask.
I regret my question when his hazel eyes narrow. I went back on my word, and now I feel like a hypocrite. This must be a touchy subject.
“We were,” he agrees. “But I stopped after he kept beating up kids who wanted to talk to his friend in the year below him.” His hazel eyes flicker to me and then away. “He beat up a lot of kids, thinking he was defending her. I didn’t like it, so I stopped hanging out with him.”
“Oh… I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Noya. Andy is a violent person. You didn’t ask him to beat them up. He made his own decisions. There are repercussions to those decisions.”
“Um… Julien told me you pinned Andy against the wall behind the Post Office the other day.”
Conner smirks. “Ah, yeah. I got a little angry at his denial.”
I grimace.
“I know you don’t like violence. I’m sorry you had to hear that I couldn’t control my temper.”
“Thank you.”
He breathes a laugh.
“Although violence and self-defence are two completely different things. If someone tries to hurt you, I don’t expect you to stand there and take it.”
“And if someone tries something on you, I don’t expect myself to stand there and see it,” he adds.
I frown.
“No one touches my girl.”
“Conner,” I chastise, but my hand doesn’t let go of his, and I feel the blush creep to my face. “Thank you.”
39
MY SONGS