After he pressed a kiss to her inner thigh, he stood from the bed, staggered, but caught himself. His chest heaved and his eyes fluttered shut as the thorns retracted and left behind deep ragged wounds. Blood soaked him, even his waistband, yet a smug smile lifted his wet lips.
Holy gods. Aside from everything, that smile did something to her and her face burned. She wasn’t sure if she was embarrassed or—
Her mind emptied as he took his fingers into his mouth, the ones that had beeninsideher, and hummed a melodic satisfied sound as he sucked them clean and stepped back toward the bathing room.
A pang of untamed desire soared through her and her jaw fell slack as she stared dumbfounded at the closed door. She didn’t know what to do with herself or how to process how unfathomablyperfectthat was. How she was sure that was not his first time. It couldn’t be. But then again, Dez excelled at everything, so why would this be an exception?
After she retrieved her shirt, she studied his blood smeared on her stomach and thighs. Gods, it smelled … enticing. Too enticing. And as she watched it dribble down her body, she bit into her cheek as her mind raced. With a sigh, she gave into those impulses, reached for her vial, and captured a few drops inside, before she stashed it beneath her pillow.
When Dez returned, his wounds had clotted impressively fast, no blood in sight, and he wore a clean pair of shorts. She bit down on her bottom lip as her eyes leisurely perused his shirtless form, until she noticed the damp washcloth in his hand. At that, she lifted a brow.
“Unless you want to lick it off like a kitten. Or wear it as war paint,” he teased. He waved his fingers in a come-hither motion. She tried to take the cloth from him, but he shook his head. “Let me. Please.”
Damn it. It was always thepleasethat got her.
She unfurled herself from the covers. He took her hand and wiped the blood away with a featherlight touch, then followed with the rest of her body. And somehow him caring for her this way felt more intimate than what they’d just done and she had to look away. Once satisfied, he tossed the rag into a nearby hamper, and the mattress dipped as he joined her, his head propped up on his hand. All too aware she was still nude, she tugged on his shirt and fumbled with the buttons, not caring they were misaligned.
Dez offered her all his attention, and they both just watched each other, unsure where to go from there.
She chewed on her cheek as she examined his wounds, healing, but ragged. How much pain had he endured while doing that? Was it worth it? Maybe he didn’t want anything more. She cleared her throat and said, “Can I ask why you didn’t let me touch you?”
“For a few reasons,” he put simply.
Curiosity and insecurity besting her, she asked, “And those would be?”
“I have to keep you coming back for more somehow, don’t I? Can’t give it all away on the first date.”
She snorted. “This wasnota date.”
“We had dinner, chatted, and you came on my tongue—multiple times. I would consider that a date, and a successful one at that.” He skimmed his fingers along the blush spreading across her cheek. “And, call me an old soul, but I have certain requirements before I give myself to someone.”
She raised a brow and a tiny smile tugged her lips. “Requirements? Like what? Did you want me to beg, Dez? Because I think we both know that won’t happen.”
“Though I’m sure that could be arranged, no.” His chuckle sent a violent thrill through her. Then he said, almost sheepishly, “I’m waiting for avotai.” At her puzzled expression he clarified, “A marriage bond.”
Sure that was a joke, she stifled a laugh until she caught the serious set of his mouth and choked it back. “You, uhm, you want a marriage bond?”
He blinked inquisitively at her. “Don’t look so surprised.”
Her stomach sank and she didn’t know why. “I thought you said you didn’t care for bonds. That they make people weak.”
“I did.” His fingertips traced the edge of her jaw. “But I find I’m breaking all my rules these days. And if I’m honest, if I do take that oath with someone, let them have me fully and I them, I want to be undeniably and irrevocably devoted to them in every way.”
So obviously not her. The thought burrowed into her brain.
But no future existed for them for so many reasons. And besides, she didn’t want that. This could only be a single night of release. Nothing more.
She closed her eyes and tried to swallow the disappointment lodged in her throat, but jealousy rioted in her chest and nearly sent her over the edge at the thought of him smiling at someone else. Calling them angel. Holding them the way he held her. Teasing and kissing them. Making love to them—
Emmery buried those thoughts. Buried it all in a grave plot and left it to stay dead. Because Dezdeservedthat. He deserved to be with someone that loved him and gave him what he needed.
And that someone wasn’t her.
“This was only for tonight anyway,” she said a little hoarsely.
The corner of his mouth pulled up into a fiendish smirk. “We’ll see.”
“Arrogance isn’t becoming, Dez.”